My boy got a birthday party invitation, and if he wants to go to the party I have to sign the invitation agreeing that I don't mind if he dies. Right there on the invitation, ON the card it says, "This release and waiver covers risks of death, serious injury and property loss..."
What do you do with a birthday party invitation like that? Call the mom and say, "Y'know, I'm okay with property loss, but if I'm going to let my kid go to this thing, you're going to have to promise to keep the death to an absolute minimum, okay?"?
The party is at one of those places with the bouncy air filled slides and stuff. Both my kids have had those things collapse on them before, so I know it's not an abstract danger, but still...a birthday party invitation that includes "death"?!? Couldn't they just have face painting or something?
I just bought this t-shirt for my gal:In other news, at work there is a new rule that we can't sing about frogs. Please just don't even ask, because if I'm going to be fired I would rather it not be because I went on an angry internet tirade about amphibians.
I just thought it would enough for everyone to know that in addition to jobs where workers are given electric shocks as part of their work day, there are places of employment where there is a rule against singing about frogs. I thought singing about frogs was a basic human right. Who'd'a thunk?!?!
Last but not least (or maybe least) The-guy recently called me "Dear Abby with a belly button ring." It's true that I have totally awesome parenting skills.
So then I thought, "Wouldn't it be fun to turn Twipply Skwood into Dear Abby with a belly button ring? And then my friend Jeff could make fun of my advice, because he's hilarious when he makes fun of that Dear Abby without (presumably) a belly button ring.
But then I remembered that for it to work, people would have to ask questions. And some of the people who read don't even have kids. And I'm not actually all that great at handling rejection. So then I would have to make questions up. And really, how many different ways can I find to say, "Your child is manipulating you."?
I am TOTALLY, TOTALLY kidding on that last part! I don’t think kids are manipulative in the least. It’s just that they normally have very different goals than those taller people around them.