I'm the uncool mom. But I'm good at it! Sometimes. Occasionally. Ok, there was six seconds last Wednesday when I didn't screw up too badly. | Do Try This at Home: I'm the uncool mom. But I'm good at it! Sometimes. Occasionally. Ok, there was six seconds last Wednesday when I didn't screw up too badly.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

I'm the uncool mom. But I'm good at it! Sometimes. Occasionally. Ok, there was six seconds last Wednesday when I didn't screw up too badly.

I found out a few months ago that talking about boobs doesn't make you a cool mom. Well, talking about boobs a little bit does, apparently, but talking about them a lot doesn't.

I'm not sure why. But them are the rules. I know, because I had this conversation with my friend Beth a good while back:
Beth - "So Jake was telling me he wanted to go to this place he saw on TV that looked fun.

We went back and forth on the name and finally figured out that he meant Dollywood. So I asked him if Dolly Parton was in the commercial. I said, 'Did she have blond hair?' and Jake said yes.

So I asked if she had really big boobs and Jake said, 'You're so cool!"

Me - "I talk about boobs all the time and my kids don't think I'M cool!"

Beth - "You talk about them too much."

Me - "Oh."
Taking my kid to a bar downtown didn't make me cool either. Even though I was attempting to take her to the "Cash Bash", as in Johnny Cash Bash.

In fact, it turns out my gal is afraid of crackheads. Who knew? Her and her friend sounded like this in the back of the car:
My sweet pea - He's got sleeping bags! And he's YELLING at us!!!!
Her friend - That just means we're good.
My sweet pea - At what?!?!?! Pissing off hobos?!?!?
Seriously, what's the use of going downtown if you don't piss off a few hobos? Or crackheads. Actually, I think we should start calling them car security professionals. Maybe issue a few badges.

That might make people feel better. Because I found out my friend wasn't so crazy about the homeless looking people hanging around downtown either:
Me - We just park right over here.
Her (indicating a "hobo" by the side of the road) - I don't know about that guy there.
Me - He just wants to watch your car for a couple of dollars.
Her - I don't know if I want him to watch my car!
Me - The crackheads?!?!?! They're good at it!
You know what makes you a totally cool parent though? Letting your kid drive your car! Mine loved that! Doesn't she look happy?I mean, not that I care if I'm cool or not. I'm just trying to make it through this whole parenting thing without enough resentment to eat one or both or all of us alive. I do have a moment every now and again though.

8 comments:

Beth said...

Jake told me today that won't even consider dating a girl who doesn't have a sense of humor about things like I do, I love that kid!

Arizaphale said...

She looks happy and gorgeous! The BA has driven with her dad 'off road' on a friend's farm. She loved it too! As for being cool....huh....I have given up. Lately my child cringes when I say 'fail'. Apparently you have to be under 30 to say it effectively....

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Beth - He's going to narrow his options considerably. (And that's a compliment!!!!!)

Arizaphale - Well your up on me - I didn't even know there was a protocol for saying "fail"! The one the kids seem to say a lot around here is "awkward!"...which I now feel has been stolen from me just when I had barely discovered its effectiveness.

Bruce said...

By the smile on her face, I assume you were talking about boobs while she was driving the car.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Bruce - I always talk about boobs no matter WHO is driving! (kidding :-)

Tracy said...

My daughters told me that thier friends all think that I'm a real cool mom.
I was like I don't want to be known as the cool mom, all those kids moms are going to think I let them drink and do drugs in the house. LOL.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Tracy - Yeah I dunno. Cool or dorky or whatever, as long as we both survive the teen years, we're probably doing A-Ok.

Nishant said...

She loved it too! As for being cool.
work at home in india

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