Saturday, September 26, 2009

Death by Teenager, Part 4,752

I'm interested in any ideas on how to survive the whole parenting a teenager thing. I'm sure it must somehow involve having seriously awesome health insurance, so I hope the government gets all that business hammered out soon.

If you've noticed that I haven't been around the Kingdom of Blogdom lately, I'll bet you've been thinking, "Surely she's died from that mysterious and seemingly fatal disease called 'parenting a teenager.'"

Or maybe you thought, "I'll bet she's all kinds of swamped at work and comes home totally stressed out and barely able to keep her eyes open through the whole homework and dinner and after school activities part of the day."

Or "She doesn't have any time because it's the Jewish High Holidays" or maybe even "God probably struck her down dead for living in sin and joking about it over the internet."

Yeah. So anyway you know how sometimes on a weekend you're trying to make heads or tails of your checkbook and your man's out in the yard and you figure he's all happy because he likes being in the dirt and commanding the plants and stuff and then all of a sudden you can't finish doing your checkbook because you have no internet because the cable runs through the flower garden?

And it turns out the cable to the phone and internet is now severed because who the heck knew the cable for the phone and the internet ran through the garden anyway?

It turns out that all of the above are pretty much true and valid reasons why I've been missing from the Kingdom of Blogdom this week. Most of those are true and valid reasons. Except for the God striking me down dead part.

Maybe God was trying to let my teenage gal do the dirty work on that one. But as it turns out my sweetheart, my angel, sweet pea did not totally do me in this week. I have the feeling she's probably up to the task though, so I'm glad I have halfway decent insurance.


  1. L'Shanah Tovah! I guess I shouldn't solicit advice about the 7 year old boy who can't seem to slow down enough to listen? Or how to juggle the school, preschool in a different town, soccer, Sunday School, cub scouts schedule? Or maybe I should... You are making me dread the upcoming teen years, although we have some time to prepare ourselves. I anticipate Becca will be the challenge, if 3 is any indication! Keep smiling!

  2. I'm pretty sure that teenagers are exactly why boarding school was if they'd just lower the price on it...

  3. I've got two teens and no helpful advice. Sorry. I've tagged you. x

  4. Volvo guy - Yeah 7 year old boys no problem. Being in two or three places at once, not easy but doable. Becca's teen years though...well, I hate to encourage you to borrow trouble and stuff, but I'd be scared in your shoes. :-) :-) :-)

    Kristine - What ***IS*** the going cost on boarding school these days? KIDDING!!!!!!!! I can barely even stand it when she leaves for the weekend.

    DJ Kirkby - Yeah but I think yours are teens are sons right? So you mostly have to worry about your car as I understand it. :-) :-) :-) Thanks for the tag! I even bookmarked it in case I take too long.

  5. deborah walsh9/27/09, 10:41 AM

    Two bright and hopeful thoughts...She's already told you that you've ruined her life so you don't have that looming ahead of you. My daughters waited until they were much older. Now, despite my failings, they are all glorious adult women who are my favorite people to be around.

    You have figured out the baby lust thing.

    Seems ages 11 to 15 are the hardest for girls. I carefully spaced my daughters' births 3 to 4 yrs apart so each would have her own time etc.,I had no way to know what that translates to in 'parenting a teen' years. Soooo...we all had 9-10 years of daughters/sisters in adolescent hell.You take one breath and then you take another breath,one foot in front of the other.Drink lots of water because dehydrated parenting is dangerous to all.Read anything personally spiritual that also occasionally makes you laugh.In the worst of times,just breathe.Remember that for a while,most anything that makes you happy will crush her.Remember you are loved by other people.She is strong and talented and will absolutely succeed in experiencing a beautiful life.

  6. I don't know how my mother survived life with me as a teenager. I was not a nice person during that time of my life. Best of luck to ya!

  7. are you serious? Did the cable really run through the flower bed or am I totally gullible...who the heck runs cable there for christs sake??

  8. Thanks Deb! I'm going to have to reread your comment often I think. Especially that part where you say 15 is the tail end of the worst. :-)

    Thanks Alf! The weird thing is, I don't remember my mom complaining about my teen years. Ever. Then again, I probably was bad enough in my early 20s to totally eclipse any poor teen behavior.

    Brown English Muffin - The cable totally went straight through the flower garden, causing us almost a week's worth of non-internet & non-phone. :-0

  9. I don't know about parenting teenagers. I've always thought boarding school seemed like a good idea. But I'll be taking notes. Thankfully, we've got a decade before we get there.

  10. So what exactly is the problem? Snapping at each other? Attitude? Lack of co-operation? All of the above?
    If you can help me out with 11 year old boys I can try and help on the teenage girl thing :-D
    Cracked up over the internet cable (sorry..heheheh)

  11. A Free Man - Yeah, I advise savoring the decade. :-)

    Arizaphale - I think the main problem is that I'm channeling my grandmother and my gal is channeling my aunt. I dunno on the 11 year old boy. I think some of them just tend to hover in another universe somewhere I guess. The internet cable thing was funny, though I'm really glad to have it back!

  12. I have limited first hand knowledge of raising teenagers, but I have asked around and the response that I head over and over again is...........duct tape.............lots and lots of duct tape.

  13. Bruce - Duly noted. :-)