Tattooed Fish Don't Last Forever You Know

In turns out Houston has been snubbed yet again. You'd think that Houston, known for its many sex shops and strip clubs, would be a natural location for a billboard announcing the infidelity of the co-president of Oracle:


After all, we have not just strip shops, but entire PLAZAS devoted to what is commonly known as sleaze:For all that do we merit one lousy Oracle-guy billboard?

New York got one, of course. San Francisco got one too. That seems reasonable. But Atlanta and not Houston? I imagine that Houstonians are outraged!

Houston is no longer the home to this guy. I don't know if anyone remembers him from a previous post, but he's dead:We went to the restaurant where he formerly resided and noticed that he no longer swam around the tank declaring his undying love for the restaurant patrons.

"What happened to the tattooed fish?" The-Guy asked the hostess. She pointed up at the ceiling, indicating fishy heaven, and explained his demise.

Apparently a known suspect (and restaurant employee) had accidentally committed mass fish murder by returning the inhabitants directly back into their freshly cleaned tank.

The tattooed fish was the brainstorm of a "crazy cook", who according to the hostess, had whipped him out of the tank and into the kitchen, tattooed him with cooking utensils, and returned him to the tank.

Who even knows how the fish survived in the kitchen? And what about the plastic wrap that covers fresh tattoos? Had the fish been afforded that luxury?

Unfortunately the hostess's English was such that we were left to our own interpretations to a certain extent. And even more unfortunately, the "crazy cook" moved on years ago so that tattooing one of the replacement fish seems unlikely.

That's the news from the greater Houston area, home to one less tattooed fish and not one stinking Oracle billboard. At least we still have The Colorado and of course the oldest and largest Art Car Parade. And the cockroaches. And the occasional hurricane. We've got a lot going for us.

Pictures:
billboard
The Colorado