Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Stalking: It's Good Work if You Can Get It

"Love You Forever
" is a story by Robert Munsch about this mom who loves her son so much that when he grows up, she breaks into his house. It gets moms all weepy for some reason that I never understood until I read the story behind the book on Munsch's website.

It happens that he wrote the story for his two stillborn babies. And so now I can understand WHY it's an emotional book for some people, but I still think mom using a ladder to climb into her grown son's window at night is creepy. Not to mention a felony. Or maybe just a misdemeanor. It's breaking and entering at any rate.

Which is not to say that I don't stalk my OWN children. With them at sleep away camp, I spend umpteen hours a day looking at the pictures posted on the camp website and attempting to determine whether or not my children look deliriously happy.

Today, for instance, I looked at 939 photos AND watched a camp video. With enthusiasm, no less. Nine hundred and thirty nine pictures. I'm not even kidding.

Of course, merely stalking my children over the internet would be shirking my parental duties. So I have to send them pictures of the cat dressed like this:

Because how else are they going to remember he's Jewish?

And I had to make my boy a greeting card by hand, and pretend that it was sent by the dead armadillo in our yard:Inside I wrote,
The dead armadillo beside the compost heap said to tell you "Hi!"
My kids have told me that they're the only ones that receive mail from their cats. I'm going out on a limb to say that not too many other children in their bunks get mail from a dead armadillo either.

I made them some other ones too, 'cause my gal asked me to:

At this point I would like to reiterate that I have looked at 939 camp photos TODAY. A girl can only look at a computer screen for a certain amount of time before her eyeballs burn out and she goes stark raving mad.

So I apologize to anyone I seem to be ignoring over the internet. I still love everyone's blog and emails and facebook page! It's just that despite my enthusiasm, my eyeballs are burning out of my head. So please excuse me while I revive the poor things by painting the living room a sort of lime green. (I'm not even kidding about that either.)


  1. don't forget to post pics of the lime green walls!

    love the card from the armadillo...whatta cool idea! teehee

  2. Someone gave me that book when I had my son, I fluttered between creeped and touched too! Nice cards!

  3. Pretty cards, perhaps you should consider selling them for profit. You clearly have too much time on your hands though!

  4. Don't know this book but I remember the one that made me cry was called 'Busy!Busy!Busy!' about a child who rescues his mother from her busy day and her bad mood 'just in time'. It still makes me well up.
    All those cards! You should be posting on Crafty Tuesday. Very impressive. Hard to say which one I like best although the Armadillo has to be near the top.
    We don't have this tradition of sending kids away to camp. How long does it go for? Sounds like you might be missing them un peu?? Because let's face it, no-one looks at 939 photos willingly unless they are your best friend's wedding photos and even then you have to be in at least 800 of them....
    Oh and we just painted the BA's room green. Not lime though. Mr Designer husband wouldn't sanction lime green although I was keen....And I have learned through bitter experience to go with his suggestions first time round rather than repainting over when I realise he was right after all.


    Trust me, it's good to get away from the blogs sometimes. Summer's here, and lo and behold I...have become Summer Camp!

    Question is why I'm not getting paid.

  6. I have that book, I choose to stop reading when the break in occurs

  7. Thanks KarenSue! Will do on the walls. I wish I had taken some "before" pictures.

    Thanks Katie!

    Beth - Yeah, it's feast or famine around here. As soon as school starts, I can't even keep my head above water. I've thought about the selling thing. Maybe I'll just make a few extras to use during the school year.

    Funny (on the photos) Arizaphale! They go for 3 1/2 weeks. I love it and hate it, both at the same time. Because it's SO good for them, and they love it so much. But they're gone for SO long.

    Camp John C.? And there's no charge?!?

    Good idea Kristine!

  8. My mom only walks in without knocking.

    Anyways your kidding and your not kidding aren't too different.

    How else do they say if a MALE cat is Jewish?

  9. Um, how DO you tell if your cat is Jewish? Mine hasn't been wearing a yarmukle, so I can't really tell if I should be buying Kosher cat chow...

  10. Loraine - I think you should ask SJ. He seems to have some ideas...only about the male cats though... In my case, I'm pretty sure it was on my kitties' birth certificates. :-)

    SJ - I'd suggest a lock, but as I said, the mom in the book comes right in the bedroom window with a ladder. So perhaps it's best to just leave well enough alone!

  11. My mom sent me a book called "Glorious Cats" when I was at summer camp. In Alabama. When I was almost twelve. I got into a lot of fights over it.

  12. I have never seen a cat wear a hat, other than the cat and the hat. ;)

  13. What a good mom you are! But please don't climb into their windows at night when they're all grown up. That won't be as cool.

  14. Great use of all that free time with the kids away and all.

  15. Your cards are really very good and I am a bit jealous of your card making skills. 939 photos AND a video huh? You need a rest in a darkend room woman!!!!!!! Mind you none of mine have gone away to camp and left me to my own devices (I don't think they trust me) so who knows what I would do if all I had was photos of my boys...

  16. David - So you're telling me I should stick to the dead armadillos? :-) I'm sorry about the fights. :-(

    Carey - Glad to expand your cat hat wearing horizons! :-)

    Thanks Alf! I'm going to try and refrain myself.

    Thanks A Free Man - I so productive these days! (not)

    Thanks DJ Kirkby! I imagine you'd need that room as much as I do. :-)

  17. It's quite glamorous with having them around without 'other' drama.

    Priceless you could say. Or did I already? (giggle snort)

  18. lol I know all about camp pics! And our DD has rec'd mail from the cat. :-) But never a dead armadillo. I bow to you!! lol
    Love the cat pics!! He looks so natural!

  19. And good grief, Jill...We were in Dallas a couple of weeks ago and it was incredibly hot! I'm used to hot summers, but this was something else! And I know it's even hotter where you are. Mercy...

  20. John C. - Sounds like a good summer! I think...

    Janet - Somehow I knew you'd be able to relate to the mail from the cat! :-) And yes, it was 103 today. But we stayed in the air conditioner. :-)