Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Adventures in Skyping With the Good For Nothing Cat

The cat pictured above has Post-Attic/Eave-Stress-Disorder (hereafter referred to as "PAESD") and I think I might have it too. Because a gal can only roll around in wasps nests and shingle nails and that horrible pink insulation stuff for so long without having nightmares about humongous lonely prehistoric fish with a seahorse head.

Perhaps you've never heard of PAESD. It's like this - we come home to the sound of obvious distress. After opening every last door and cabinet and hidey hole, we finally decide that the loud, piteous meowing was coming from inside the wall somehow.

I tried removing the air conditioner vent plate in the mistaken hope that I'd be able to see into the ceiling from there. I used a pickax to remove one of the attic floorboards.

I made my way as far back toward the eaves as I could. I was awash in fiberglass. I could feel the shingle nails poking into my head. I was inches away from wasps nests bigger than a coffee mug. I could hear at least one wasp buzzing an unhappy warning.

I later had this conversation with younger gal:
Younger Gal - I was SO SCARED!
Me - Yeah, I was really scared too. But I was trying not to let you know.
Younger Gal - I knew.
Me - How did you know?!?!
Younger Gal - (no answer)
Me - Was it when I said, "I'm scared!"?
Younger Gal - Yeah.

I really was terrified, mostly because things have been SO HARD on my gal lately. I was afraid the death of her favorite cat would send her straight over the edge. And I was also afraid of being stung by a wasp. Or getting multiple tetanus inducing holes in my head from all the shingle nails. Or falling through the ceiling into the dining room because I had removed the floorboard.

I got the idea to skype with the stupid cat, because my computer camera is one of those that clips on and has a cord. So I lowered the camera part and a flashlight between the attic floor and the eave, but I couldn't see squat. Luckily he was not as deep into the walls as I had feared and he somehow got himself out a couple of hours later.

I did NOT get pictures of the escapade even though I had potential photographers at hand, because of the whole potential cat's death thing hovering in the air. But I did get the above picture of Nimue having a distinct PAESD experience.

Here's a picture of my other cat snarling. It has nothing to do with anything, but I thought I would provide comic relief just in case you now have Post-Listening-to-A-Story-About-A-Cat-With-Post-Attic/Eave-Stress-Disorder-Disorder:


  1. Man, if I had a Dollar for every time I fell off an attic, took my clothes off and grew a mustache...

  2. Your dedication is impressive. At this point, your cat is probably planning new and more interesting places to get stuck, just to see how far he can push you.

    And that is a MIGHTY scowl.

  3. People - Yeah! I want a dollar for every time you do that too!!!! Just...y'know...for the sake of being adequately advised and all, and to put toward sending my kids to camp...

    Christine - Yeah, he's going to have to try a little harder next time. I didn't even cut any holes in the wall, which the vet actually DID recommend!!!! Except, the vet's exact advice was to get someone who worked in CONSTRUCTION to cut a hole in the wall. But I thought, "Why do that when I could just cut a hole in the wall myself? The-Guy has all kinds of tools..."

  4. Oh no! Poor kitty. At least it wasn't eaten by some kind of wild animal. That's what happened to my cat. Sigh.

  5. Reminds me of the time we came out of the movies to hear a cat howling under our car. We looked and couldn't see it. Turns out it was stuck in the engine. I had heard they do that to get warm but never thought it would happen to us. What a nightmare trying to get it out. Plus we really needed to go somewhere and as you can guess, you can't just drive with a cat in your engine.

  6. "Luckily he was not as deep into the walls as I had feared and he somehow got himself out a couple of hours later."
    That's IT? That's how you finish this grand story????????? Did you want to kill him later?
    My cat (the psycho Anti-Pet) was once trapped under the floorboards of our soon-to-be-renovated kitchen for 3 days. We kept hearing him meow but thought he was outside (the back door was nearby). One night the BA cam and stood in the empty kitchen and said "It's coming from here" and I suddenly saw the new screws in the floorboard that the plumber had screwed down and a lightbulb went on over my head and you have never seen anyone unscrew a floorboard SO fast with their heart in their mouth. He was crouching down there, looking up at me but he was so weak we had to haul him up by the scruff of the neck. Your adventure sounds MUCH worse though....except for the part where he RESCUES HIMSELF!!!! Huh. Cats.

  7. Alf - That happened to a couple of my parents' cats too. That's why they only have indoor cats now.

    Oh yeah I've heard cats do that too Beth! Glad you discovered the cat before driving off!

    Arizaphale - Oh no! I think yours sounds worse, because it lasted THREE DAYS! And Nimue was only scared, not weakened. I'm glad you got him out okay! When we first heard the meowing, I was hoping it was outside too. There's a neighbor's cat who comes around & he's pretty vocal. But my gal was insistent that it was HER CAT & not the neighbor's & that she knew her own cat's meows. I went all around the outside of the house anyway to make sure while my gal stayed in the attic so I could call to her from likely places the neighbor's cat would be and see how the volume of my calls compared to the meowing.

    The thing is, Sugar would "check on him" now and then & we would follow because we were scared he'd fall down there too. So one of the times Sugar went back there, my boy saw the top of Nimue's head pop up just a little bit. Once I knew he wasn't as far down in the wall as I had feared, I just left him to try for himself. I think it was maybe scary for him because he had to get through such a small space with all those nails sticking out. I wonder if he didn't hurt himself a little on the nails or get stung by a wasp on his way DOWN and that's why he was scared to come back up.

  8. To be fair, Charlie (the neighbor's cat) does have a rather distinctive meow. It's a bit alien sounding.

  9. I think I'd rather hatchet my way in from outside than crawl through insulation...but maybe that's just me.

  10. I have heard of the phrase cat ON the wall. Never IN the wall. How do you punish a cat for his misdeeds? Can you ground him? Neuter him?

  11. Older Gal - Yeah, but I was still hoping!

    Kristine - I think I'd recommend the hatchet. It was so not fun!

    SJ - I pre-neutered the both of them in early kittenhood, because I already knew from the start that they were going to misbehave! :-0

  12. Poor kitty. Mine is kind of a moron but so far hasn't gotten stuck anywhere horrible. So far.

  13. Funny Loraine! Glad your kitty has played it safe so far!

  14. Aw, poor Nimue!

    But why didn't you try Temptations? The commercials show cats popping thru walls all time to get to them...


  15. Maureen - That would be because we don't have TV (we never bought that box thingy to make convert the television and we don't have cable or satellite, so more or less our television is just a DVD player now). So I don't see commercials and I don't know what Temptations is/are. But if it makes cats pop through walls, maybe I should get some just to have on hand?

  16. OMG!!!! That is TOO funny! We DO have the exact same cat duo!!!!!!! I'm a little freaked out. It's like parallel worlds or something!!!! Ha! Well, I love your kitties!

  17. OMG!!!! That is TOO funny! We DO have the exact same cat duo!!!!!!! I'm a little freaked out. It's like parallel worlds or something!!!! Ha! Well, I love your kitties!