667 (The Neighbor of the Beast) | Do Try This at Home: 667 (The Neighbor of the Beast)

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

667 (The Neighbor of the Beast)

I never realized there were people against Halloween until I moved to Texas. The whole idea was summed up for me by a three year old neighbor who informed me that "Halloween is NOT God's party!!!!" All I can say is, God's missing out on a LOT of chocolate.

I'm all about any holiday devoted almost entirely to chocolate, which is why I also love Valentine's day, despite the fact that Jewish people don't normally celebrate holidays with saints in the name. I'm also infatuated by thinking Christians in general and particularly how Punk Israel's blog justifies my chocolate-fest tonight.

All that said, I am totally and completely okay with not celebrating Halloween at my preschool. I've heard teachers bemoaning the fact our little sweethearts will be attending school today sans costume. I shrug that off, because the children still get to dress up at home, and who the heck wants to get 16 little bodies in and out of costumes all day so they can go potty?!?!?! Besides, they'll come to school dressed up for Purim.

I do have one delimna this year and that is, my own children will have to miss Wednesday night religious school in order to go do the whole devil worship thing...

KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We're not going to worship the devil! Let's get our facts straight here: we're going to worship CHOCOLATE!!!! Kidding again!!!!!!!!!! I fully expect to eat my fair share though.

So happy Halloween and here's some Warren Zevon to get you in the mood:


toners said...

LOL! Your posts are great! Have a happy, safe, chocolatey Halloween :)

delmer said...

Beggars night just ended here. Right at 5:15 I shot off to the drugstore and picked up 3 bags of candy even though I suspected I'd get few kids.

I expected zero ... but I didn't want to disappoint should someone show up.

Nobody did.

So, I've got three bags of the good stuff left. The "good stuff" because *I* didn't want to be disappointed should no one show up.

Anonymous said...

A chocolate holiday? I like that. So there is two a year for it. I'm loving that too. I celebrate my chocolate flavor/color every day. But this isn't about that.

I like your outlook on the day they call Halloween. There is more to it these days than what most think. Its about joy and your children's experience.

The joys of parenthood.

Maureen said...

I love Halloween; have since I was a kid, then during the years of taking my own daughter out. But each year we get less and less kids; down to only about 30 this year (at one time it was well over 100). I know one reason is that the local mall now has "safe" trick or treating, which is a great idea really, and it leaves more candy leftovers for me.

none said...

Halloween is about dressing up in odd costumes, making weird candles out of vegetables, and eating way too much crap with the kids.

Oh wait, is that a holiday or a weekend?

Disa said...

do pre-schoolers dress up as sluts too? i had no idea you could get slutty pumpkins, slutty hollie hobbies, slutty carebears or slutty dinosaurs...

Anonymous said...

I love your post title! FUNNEE!! I used (!!) to be addicted to chocolate until I discovered DARK CHOCOLATE. 87% cocoa does it for me. If I have that milky stuff, I just keep eating it. It's like I have to 10 pounds of milk chocolate to add up to 3 oz of super dark chocolate.

The problem is that 10 pounds of milk chocolate ends up being uh...JUNK IN MY TRUNK. NOT PURTY.

Halloween is fun. The only thing that annoyed me was that I heard Christmas music 2 days before Halloween. I am not liking it. I love Christmas music (Nutcracker! Sugar Plum Fairies!) but not before Thanksgiving.

Since I'm on the road people asked me if I would pack a costume. I said I was planning to be be a statuesque Blonde Bombshell for Halloween. Leg extensions, chest extensions, a wig....it's kinda-sorta doable.

But it's kinda a bunch of work.

Jill said...

Thanks Toners! We did (so far - of course the serious candy eating doesn't start until today, so hopefully no poison or razors or anything)!!!! :-)

Delmer - That's what I always do - buy yummy candy. 'Cause I'm going to eat the leftovers anyway. Why not be eating leftovers I ***like***?!?!?! Have a great time rotting your teeth out!!!!!!

Thanks Urban Thought! Yes, it's ALL ABOUT THE CHOCOLATE!!! (lest we forget) :-) :-) :-)

Maureen - That "safe" trick or treating never sounded like any fun to me though. Besides, my brother told me that the only time it's ever been certain that a child was poisoned by Halloween candy, it turned out to be that it was the parents who did it to the child & tried to pass it off as a treat given to the child on Halloween by a random stranger. Isn't that even sadder than if it *had* been a random stranger? Maybe it's all just equally sad, I don't know.

Garth - Sounds like a pretty fair description to me, either way!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Disa - They make slutty dinosaurs and care bears?!?!?!?! Sign me up! :-0 :-0 :-0 Kidding!

Ms.Q - I just eat the milk chocolate sometimes. For the same reason you buy the 87%, I usually buy 70% organic. I never see the 87% in organic though. I *love* Christmas music!!!!!!!!! AFTER Thanksgiving that is. :-) :-) :-)

Beth said...

You forgot to mention the best part of Halloween (which also happens to be my favorite holiday). The best part is we parents don't have to spend a fortune on gifts nor do we have to spend hours preparing a special meal. All we do is come up with some sort of costume and other people give our kids treats! It is one holiday everyone, adults and kids get to enjoy! By the way, nobody ever comes to our house or we are out trick or treating ourselves so nobody is home to answer the door so very little is bought ahead of time in my house. Instead, I stock up on the good stuff the day after for half price!

Ingrid said...

If this free candy satan worshipping thing is wrong, then I don't want to be right!!!

I hate it when I'm blathering on to someone about Halloween and ask them what their kids are going to wear and I get the cool "Um yeah, we don't do Halloween" as a response. What can you say? "Cool, we don't do bank robberies"? It's an awkward moment.

DJ Kirkby said...

Hurrah for chocolate! Hey! That was my bit, sharezies, c'mon! Share!

Carey said...

LOL! People here are the same way...I don't get it! I think it is perfectly normal to worship chocolate. I do it every day! ;)

ditzymoi said...

Ive lived in the bible belt ..Its amazing how they can turn a silly holiday in to a religious issue when we all know its about the FREE CHOCOLATE!

ps: my heathens errr i mean kids are trained to drop off all reeses related candy in their mothers purse at the end of the evening .. am i smart or what?

Noelia said...

LOL! Hilarious post!
I guess I'm a chocolate worshiper too because I go out trick or treat with my kiddos. I'm a Christian but I'm also aware of a lot of Christians not celebrating it. To each it's own I guess, I'm cool with it, don't feel evil doing it ;)

Unknown said...

LOL! Purim. It can get pretty noisy on that day as well with the noise makers and such.

I don't see what the big crusade against Halloween is. People need to chill.

Jill said...

Beth - Or, if you're like me (and actually like my parents), you let the kids come up with their own costumes and don't actually help at all...then it's even easier! :-0

Ingrid - I'm with you! I don't do bank robberies either! Although I have been known to climb bank roofs on a first date...

DJ Kirkby - :-) :-) :-) Share chocolate?!?!?!? :-)

Bastet - Yeah, chocolate worship is the BEST!!!!!

Kim - GREAT training!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I almost used your "my heathens" in my next post, but it didn't seem fair to steal from you from my own comments. :-)

Noelia - Yay, another vote for NOT evil!

Ricardo - I think Purim is one of my FAVORITE holidays! But I'm usually for some chaos. :-)

Janet said...

I didn't realize there were people who did not do Halloween until a few years ago when I was teaching a sb'ing class and we did a couple of Halloween projects. Some ladies announced that they didn't observe it because of the whole devil-worship thing. Talk about an awkward moment! We had to rearrange the letters of HALLOWEEN to spell something else...I was mortified, of course!! :-) Janet


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