I can't find my brain | Do Try This at Home: I can't find my brain

Thursday, April 17, 2008

I can't find my brain

or my checkbook. I'm not sure which is stressing me out more at this moment...Although I'm pretty sure my checkbook's around somewhere because as of yet no one's tried to write a check against the $3.72 I have in my account. I'm not quite as optimistic about my brain...

I'm posting my daughter's version of the Passover story again. This is how she told it to me when she was three:

The king was very bad. He wanted to take away all the baby boys. But baby Moses’s mommy didn’t want him to be taken away. She put him in a basket and took him to an ocean and put him in. Another person found him.

Then the burning plant was God. God told Moses, “Here. Have a stick.”
My brother has a similar version, told to me when he was 36:
Slavery - BAD!

Freedom - GOOD!

Thanks God!

Wooohoooo! Let's eat!!!!!
I'm missing how one fits four cups of wine into all that, but I'm know its in there somewhere...

On a totally unrelated note, The-Guy-Who-Knows-a-Song-About-a-Chicken said there's a good chance they just put these signs up solely for my amusement. Let's hope so. I'd hate to think I've been guzzling calories all these years by drinking plain old tap water. If so, not to worry. Walgreens sells water without all those pesky calories:Meanwhile, it's a lucky thing Mike has this sign hanging up in Fioza. Otherwise, the coffee, tea, and smoothies would all be made from sewage water I'm pretty sure.I'm KIDDING!!!! Mike would NEVER EVER serve sewage water at his shop. It's just, he explained, that his mom likes little signs everywhere. Either that, or he just put the sign up to amuse me.
Happy Passover!


People in the Sun said...

Finally, drinking wine the way God intended: licked off a pinky.

ALF said...

Do you think the people at Walgreens even know that all water is calorie free?

Anonymous said...

I used to sell water back in my younger years. This is when they first started bottling tap water (Aquafina). I would yell out to folk: No Calorie, Sodium Free bottled Water.

Is there any of other kind? With the way science is you never know... But it got everyone's attention and I sold my entire lot.

Lara Neves said...

Zero calorie water? I had no idea such a thing existed!

"here, have a stick" is cracking me up. Love it.

RW said...

Happy passover!

Christine said...

Slavery: bad
Freedom: good
Thanks, God!
And, being God's Chosen People has not really worked out all that well for the Jews, over the years. So, here, bubbe, have a glass of wine.

Or four.

See? It fits great.

Happy Passover!

Anonymous said...

I hate WALGREENS, they always hide the low carbon water behind the calorie infused sludge.

Bruce Johnson said...

Religion, the Cliff Notes Versions, I love them.

But I have you beat on the stupid sign department today, check out my blog: http://lotus07rant.blogspot.com/2008/04/coming-apocalypse.html To find out why.

delmer said...

Your daughter does a very nice job making the Bible interesting. Can you provide her interpretation of Numbers?

Unknown said...

I hope you had a wonderful Passover Jill. I prefer either of your kids versions of the story as it cuts down on time and let's me get to the business of eating. Isn't all water 0 calories?

Maureen said...

Aw, crap. No Walgreen's up here in Canada. Which means I'll have to drink our natural, calorie-filled water.


Unknown said...

Happy Passover.

I was about to come here and let you know I was blogging again ... but you had already found that out.

If your brother were a prophet I guess we wouldn't have had more than a couple of commandments.

Jill said...

People - That's not how you always drink wine?

Alf - I dunno! Usually I'd say, "Not likely." The woman who usually checks me out at Walgreens is really nice, but I don't have the foggiest idea about her knowledge of the nutritional value of water...

Urban thought - yeah, the fear thing really sells. If THAT water is calorie free and sodium free, my water must be full of all KINDS of bad stuff!!!!

Lara - I still love "Here. Have a stick." still makes me laugh nine years after she said it. :-)

Thanks Roger!

Good idea Christine!!!!

John - Well, calorie infused sludge IS much more popular and the secret workings of shelf space have something to do with it I'm sure...
:-) :-) :-)

Lotus - Ok, I didn't get a chance to comment yet but that last one takes the cake!

Delmer - I'll have her get to work on that after her bat mitzvah. :-)

Thanks Ricardo! We did have a nice Passover. Hope you did too!!!!!!

Maureen - Bummer! You'll just have to cut back in other places I guess...

SJ - Yeah, my brother could have narrowed it down to one or two I guess. :-)

Kerry McKibbins said...

I love this post, lol. You are too funny!

Jill said...

Thanks Kerry! :-)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...