If You Choose to Have A "Late in Life Baby", It Might be Best to Encase Yourself in Plaster Before the Kid Can Even Crawl | Do Try This at Home: If You Choose to Have A "Late in Life Baby", It Might be Best to Encase Yourself in Plaster Before the Kid Can Even Crawl

Saturday, November 30, 2013

If You Choose to Have A "Late in Life Baby", It Might be Best to Encase Yourself in Plaster Before the Kid Can Even Crawl

That baby of ours is cute, but whenever I'm around her I say things like,

"No more 'more'! You already have 'more' right here! Eat the 'more' on your plate and then you can have more 'more'."

My boy on the other hand, ends up having to say goofy sounding stuff just to get me to stop talking -

Me - "Y'Know, when the baby is all grown up and I'm already dead, you're giving to have to make sure she has somewhere to go for Passover."
Boy - ?
Me - "Because you're the youngest. If I'm dead and The-Guy is dead and Older Gal is dead, you and the Sweet Pea will have to make sure the baby has somewhere to go on the holidays."
Boy - ?
Me - "I might not be dead. I might just be old. And doddering."
Boy - ?
Me - "You know!!!!! Like when she's 30, I'll already be 73. So you'll have to have her over for Passover…or at least drop in at her place unexpectedly."
Boy - "As long as I can be referred to as The Godfather."

Hopefully I live long enough to hear the baby say stuff like that. Because it's extremely dangerous to have a "late in life baby". I never sustained a single baby related injury during The Boy or The Sweet Pea's formative years. But I've already fallen flat on the floor three times as a result of this kid.

Not to mention the fact that her car seat attacked me last week and yanked off part of my fingernail and the skin underneath.

Unlike when my boy busted his head wide open, I did not take a picture. You're welcome.

Both The-Guy and I have had broken toes thanks to her little innocent self. I didn't take pictures of our broken toes either. Your welcome.

I used to advise against having a new baby when you already had a high school senior. But that was when she was a newborn and she cried EVERY. WAKING. MOMENT. Having a toddler while you have a couple in college and one in high school is totally, totally worth all the injuries.

She's a lot of fun.

And delicious too. Apparently. Still, you want to have a well stocked first aid kit.


Janet said...

Well, she is absolutely PRECIOUS. Age is all in your mind anyway!

Jill said...

Thank you Janet! I like her. :-)

The Ceol Mors said...

I feel ya! I try not to think about the fact that I will need a walker for Kitty's high school graduation! She is so stinking cute and hooray for a surprise B sighting!

Jill said...

That's ok Cid - you can just guilt M. into feeling responsible for her the way I do to my older ones! :-) And thank you on the cute!

MarkD60 said...

Tom Petty says, "If you never slow down, you'll never grow old"

Bruce Johnson said...

I was hoping for pictures of the cracked skull and broken toes.......damn.

Jill said...

Mark - Is that the trick? I sometimes forget…

Bruce - I didn't post the broken toes, but you only have to click the link to see my boy's brains! Just kidding, it's only his skull.

Arizaphale said...

I'm fascinated by this concept. So are you falling OVER her? Or over things she leaves around? Or has lack of sleep reduced your ability to balance? I know I went to tea with the BA and the Small Boy when I was your age...and walked out going 'I'm too old to have any more kids!!!!"

Jill said...

Arizaphale -

The first time was when she was little bitty, bitty & she had a false alarm on the monitor that goes off if the baby stops breathing. I went running for her so fast (in the pitch dark) that I tripped over her bouncy chair.

The second time was about a month or two ago. I had stupidly let her play with a couple of ice cubes in the kitchen and slipped and fell flat on the floor on the water she had left in her wake.

The third time was just a few weeks ago. She had been sucking on a garbage bag or something equally as dangerous and disgusting and I was trying to get it out of her reach by putting it just beyond a baby gate. However she was slipping her arm through the gate and grabbing it, so as I leaned over the age to move it farther out of her reach, the baby gate collapsed and I fell flat.

Did I mention I can be a little clumsy? I broke my toe running to go get The-Guy because the baby had gotten stung by a wasp. That was on Thanksgiving.


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