It's not that it's deep. It's just that you can see so much of his skull. | Do Try This at Home: It's not that it's deep. It's just that you can see so much of his skull.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

It's not that it's deep. It's just that you can see so much of his skull.

Cell phone conversation that I had with The-Guy on the way to the emergency room:

The-Guy - How deep is it?
Me - It's not that it's deep.  It's just that you can see so much of his skull.
Him - That's deep enough

If you are easily grossed out, you should probably quit reading now.   And if you've never had the opportunity to discuss the depth of a head wound, watch out for those monkey bars!

Jared was supposed to have a skateboarding birthday party today. But since we happened to be in the emergency room yesterday afternoon, we decided on stitches instead. It was SO GROSS!

The PE teacher must not have noticed that she could have set a nickel down on the piece of his skull that was exposed, because she sent him to the boy's restroom to wash it out for himself.

In her defense, the fact that he was gushing blood onto his clothing, legs and shoes may have blocked her view. Surely not being able to see the severity of a wound because of all the blood is a good reason not to send a child directly to the nurse, right? Have I mentioned it was TOTALLY GROSS?

My cousin thought we should have left the wound open, since Jared considered it all kinds of cool. When I mentioned he would have a hard time getting dates, my cousin assured me that a select group of women would actually find it attractive. And since the women who make up the select group are not all that desirable, he said, Jared would have the pick of the litter.

In a distantly related note, since Jared couldn't have his skateboard party, I decided to call and ask for my 10 year old's very favorite song about alcoholism and whatnot, Highway 87 by Hayes Carll.

So Jared didn't get his skating party, but he did get to have the DJ wish him happy birthday over the radio. He got to have a song played just for him on one of my favorite radio shows. He got to have pizza with his friends.

And he got twenty four stitches, four of them in the muscle. Did I tell you guys how totally GROSS it was?

The plastic surgeon kept using the words "traumatic head injury" while he was sewing, which is actually not something I enjoyed hearing. But then I was the one who refused to leave the room, so I get what I get.

Of course I promised Jared both that I'd print out a picture of the wound for him to take to school and that I'd publish the gore to the internet. So if you're my dad or anyone else who doesn't particularly enjoy gore (Have I said it was REALLY GROSS?), this is your last chance.

Here's my boy's brain. OKAY! It's only his skull! Sorry it's a crappy cell phone picture.

I might not have been the very FASTEST mom to ever rush her son to the emergency room, but at least I chose against stopping home for the camera:


Maureen said...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Poor kid. But he DOES have quite a story and photographic evidence of his adventure.

Monkey bars should be banned.... they were he cause of my daughter knocking out two permanent front teeth when in grade 4. She's still going through treatments to fix them, seven years later.

And you are brave too... I would have fainted to the floor (as I did when my daughter got injured). Hope he is doing better.

Christine said...

YOUCH! But in the immortal words of...whoever that guy was on the Simpsons,

"Bones heal. Chicks dig scars."

It is a mantra very much in use at my house, lately.

Heal well, Jared!

Beth said...

I guess I have watched one too many episodes of that show "The Operation" because this is just not grossing me out at all, I think it is interesting! Of course, if it were my kid, I would probably feel differently. Glad he is on his way to healing now, kids heal so nicely, he probably won't even have a scar by the time he is thinking of dating!

Jill said...

Maureen - YIKES on the teeth!!!!!! I dunno about the banning thing. I feel like I spend all day long telling kids that this or that "isn't safe" and disallowing stuff that we used to do all day long when I was a kid. But then my friend's son trips while he is HOLDING HER HAND and needs stitches...

In the hospital I was telling the kids "Uncle David used to juggle fire and juggle knives and did he ever hurt himself? NO! So that's why you shouldn't do normal stuff!"

Christine - Yeah, probably true. :-)

Beth - Yeah I don't watch NEAR enough TV to be in the likes of an ER. Last weekend Ray took me to a grocery out on beltway 8 near Beechnut where they sell the live fish & I was flinching every time one of them got decapitated.

The grossest part was when they were sliding Jared's skin around and exposing different parts of his skull while trying to decide what to do. I needed a video camera for that I guess; the cell phone pic just doesn't do it justice! :-)

Janet said...

Oh, my gosh! That looks dreadful! Poor kiddo. Methinks you did the right thing not stopping home for the camera...

ditzymoi said...

aghhhh! thats pretty bad! I cant believe she sent him to clean himself up! great scar material :)

Curly Glamour Girlie said...


With a wicked scar like that, the Hell's Angels will be wooing him for membership!

Jill said...

jp - Yeah, he was in no kind'a shape to stop for the camera, but by today he really wishes I had stopped!

Kim - Yeah, that's the part I'm having a hard time getting over. I know everyone makes mistakes and everything but I'm still having a hard time getting that part out of my mind.

Curlie Glamor Girlie - I didn't realize that was a Hells Angels resume requirement. Good thing he got started early!

ALF said...

Whoa! That is quite the battle scar. What is going on with the universe? Everyone is a bloody mess!

Unknown said...

I curt my forehead pretty deep to the bone as a young lad myself and it was nasty. Still have the scar. Tell him it builds character.

Car talk cracks me up. Those guys are great.

Allison said...

I do have to admit that I hate seeing things like this. I didn't like it on ALF's blog and I didn't like looking at his gaping wound, but its like a train just can't help but look.

Poor guy, I hope he heals quickly.

Jill said...

Alf - well you started it!!!!!!!!!!! KIDDING!!!! :-)

Ricardo - Oh he is not even the least bit concerned. In fact, he'd probably choose a scar if he had his druthers!

Allie - Yeah, what do they call that? Morbid curiosity? Don't want to look, don't want to look away...

RW said...

OMG I totally see grey matter! poor little guy, accidents happen :C

Disa said...

he doesn't appear too perturbed. i had a resident counselor come into my office at work last week asking how long it wuld take her to develop a black eye from smacking herself in the face with her car door earlier that afternoon. apparently no longer is is cool to want a tattoo or piercing. GBH is the new look.

Anonymous said...

Yow! I am glad he's OK. Kinda fits with my post about boys getting scars on their faces.

Jared seems to be taking it very well and girls don't care that much about scars and many do find them sexy. It must be in the female DNA since most men have some type of scar on their head and back in the days of the cavemen, the successful hunter probably were one big scar which was a big improvement over being dinner for some creature.

I dunno about monkey bars being banned, either. I used to play on them as a child - back when the area was filled with bark. Later they changed it to those thick rubber pads.

I did fall off a set and knocked the wind out of myself. Then again - eek on having your teeth knocked out!

I'm glad he's OK! I can't imagine being a mom and seeing my child all bloody! Not to mention seeing his skull!

Ingrid said...

Holy mother of pearl. He was told to go wash it out in the bathroom?! Maybe next time they'll give him his own suture kit. Wow.

I'm really glad he's okay, and he definitely LOOOKS okay in the pic! LOL!

Carey said...

Ouch! You seem pretty calm and brave...I would have been a train wreck. Monkey bars are dangerous, I remember the same thing happened to a kid I went to school with.

Jill said...

Funny Roger...well, gruesomely funny at any rate...

Disa & Ms.Q- Yeah, he was kind'a lethargic when I first picked him up from school, but he perked up after awhile. He particularly liked the jokes I kept making about whether or not his brains were leaking out.

Ingrid - That's definitely the part that keeps getting me, that they sent my boy to the bathroom to wash out his own brains.

Bastet - I don't know if I would have called it "calm and brave" so much as "in shock and in denial". But either way I got him to the hospital ok without a car wreck or anything. :-)

the frogster said...

Short term: yikes.

Long term (in his view): Coooool. Especially with (as Maureen said) the photographic evidence.

I gotta say, I love Car Talk also, and I proudly state that I am not afraid of poop, so I read the whole post. In fact, I say more poop. Poop sells.

Maggie said...

ow ow ow ow ow ow
that's all I can say.

Saradevil said...

Jumpin Bagel-gay,

When your kid hurts himself he really hurts himself.

If nothing else it will give him an interesting story to use when picking up the girls. In other words...ow.

That teacher should have sent him directly to the nurse, though.

DJ Kirkby said...

Yep, gross...but the look of pride on his face...bless! Boys, eh? I have tagged you on my post tomorrow but won't have time to let you know tomorrow which is why you are getting an advance warning.

Jill said...

Funny frogger! I'm all for more poop posts in the blogging world too!

Maggie - Yeah, that's what he said alright. :-(

Saradevil - Yeah, I think so.

Thanks DJ Kirkby!

j said...

O M G-osh you have got to have one more good sense of humor to laugh about that - girl they would have been stitching up the gash on my head where I passed out. You are a good momma and I know that was tough. We really have to put on the brave face for our kiddos sometimes, don't we? He's an awfully cute kid - my son knows mom finds him charming and boy does he work it! SPoiLed? You betcha'. - Jennifer

Jill said...

Jennifer - I had to keep my boy laughing the whole time. He wasn't that appreciative of the jokes at first. He said later he was just to tired to laugh - I think lethargic might have been a better word. But later on while we were waiting around the emergency room I think he fully appreciated me giving him reports on whether or not his brain was leaking out. :-) :-) :-)


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