On totally avoiding cannibalism despite a dead battery and a car accident. Plus, bathroom graffiti pictures. | Do Try This at Home: On totally avoiding cannibalism despite a dead battery and a car accident. Plus, bathroom graffiti pictures.

Saturday, August 28, 2010

On totally avoiding cannibalism despite a dead battery and a car accident. Plus, bathroom graffiti pictures.

Tuesday, on my birthday, my car stranded me and a friend on the feeder road of an interstate freeway:I'm smiling because I had a friend with me. And plus we were within walking distance of a restaurant, so I was already certain that we weren't about to run out of food and end up resorting to cannibalism or anything.This guy stops to help us and he thinks we need a jump start. But he makes sparks start flying off my battery. He does this a lot of times. Then he tells us it's the alternator.

Triple A comes to tow the car away, but for kicks my friend asks about trying a jump start. Sure enough, it works!

All is well for two more days. Then yesterday while trying to turn right at an intersection, the car ahead of me begins to move forward. I'm all thinking that she's headed through the intersection because her car has moved forward. So I look to my left and decide it's safe for me to go too. But unfortunately for me, I start to move my car forward before my gaze gets all the way back to see that she actually didn't go.

She stopped.

And then I stopped, because her bumper was in my way.

This time I was not smiling at all on the side of the road. Not smiling at all. I was fairly unhappy, actually.

When I told the entire story to my sweet pea she said, "At least you were in a cute outfit while you were on the side of the road!" And it's totally true; I was in a cute outfit. Unfortunately my friend wasn't around to take a picture.

And then like 10 minutes after I run into someone, some other guy comes so very, very close to running into me! And then my car almost didn't start again that afternoon and I think from now on I should just take the bus.

Here are some more honeymoon pictures of Austin bathroom graffiti. Click to read a little better:
Apologies to Bob Schneider, but this next one is my favorite. In case you can't read it to the very end it says:
-Bob Schneider - Don't be such a man-diva. It doesn't become you. Ellen
-I'll second that!
-Well he's not going to see it in here!
-Yes he will its the closest Jon to the stage
-he's also a man and therefore uses the MEN'S room
-Actually, Bob is the anti-Tin Man, full of heart Dorothy

The problem with this type of honeymoon pictures is that actually when you go to print them out for your new mother in law, there's not really all that much to give her.


Paula said...

I was thinking - leave it to Austin to have existential graffiti. Then, I decided that would be a great name for a band - Existential Graffiti. Glad you're ok.

By the way, the goober who said it was your alternator, was trying to hook it up backwards, I'm thinkin. Do you know how to jump start your car? Change a flat? If not, they are both great skills to have. (Been there, done that.)

Love ya

P said...

p.s You looked great in the photos. The first one looks like your Mom right after I met her.

Jill said...

My friend and I had actually suggested (and ultimately decided between the two of us) that he had hooked them up backwards, but he assured us several times that my battery cables must just be too old. I'm not totally comfortable with the jump starting thing, but I know you keep the positive with the positive and the negative with the negative. I think he was attempting to do it all by color, which maybe only does work for certain jumper cables, who knows...

I put snow tires on once, so I think I could change a flat if I had to. Well, I have an owner's manual if all else fails...

And thanks on the photos! :-) :-) :-)

Beth said...

I have never changed a tire but I have jumped plenty of cars while living up North. Between us, we could open our own business :) I just had to say, when I have days like you did with the car, those are the days I don't drive unless I absolutely have to (no extra errands) because I find there are just some days when we are destined to have car accidents if we push it!

Unknown said...

You are happy and you know it why are you not clapping your hands.

Arizaphale said...

V nice roadside pics. You look like your Your Gal. No wonder the jumper cable guy stopped! As for jumper cables? Definitely backwards. Possibly because he was ogling you? But try telling a man he is wrong around cars. This is why we no longer have a Jeep because Himself did not LISTEN to ME when he was over-filling the oil!!!!!!!!!! Next time HE holds the funnel...
Also, I have personally had that same car accident at least 3 times. Not recently though; I have taken to backing into things instead. Graffiti: wish I had taken pix of some of the literature on the back of toilet doors when I was at uni.One will forever stay with me.
A birdie with a yellow bill
Sat upon my window sill
I gave it milk
I gave it bread
And then I smashed its f***ing head.
Australian intelligentsia.

Jill said...

Beth & Jill's auto. Ok. That sounds good. I'll let you know when I get to old to teach preschool and we can do that. :-)

SJ - I don't know. It's hard to clap and eat. :-)

Arizaphale - You can expire a whole jeep just by overfilling the oil?!?!? Maybe Beth & I shouldn't open that shop after all! Thanks on the accident record - that's a first time for me so I do feel better about that a little tiny bit. Apparently I have two more to go before moving on to backing into things. :-)

Marlene said...

Ugh cars. To quote some song...if it's got tires or testicles, it's gonna give you trouble.

People in the Sun said...

Bob is such a douche! Always Me me me!

How did you get into the men's room? Isn't there a black hole that sucks you in when you go into the wrong sex's room?

I actually know the answer to that. I was in the ladies' once. In a club. It was beautiful. So, so beautiful.

Jill said...

Marlene - Yeah, the tires have been giving me all kinds of trouble lately!!! :-0

People - I had NO IDEA!!!!! I'm going to have to be WAY more careful next time I enter the men's room!

Tracy said...

I have CAA, I'd just call them teehee.
You look so cute it this picture. I know it isn't right, but I love graffiti in the bathrooms.

Mz-Cellaneous said...

that happened to me once, bumping into someone that was supposed to be moving, but decided to stop. tiny scratch on her bumper cost me several hundred bucks.

which she never fixed.

Jill said...

Thanks Tracy! Me too & that was actually interesting graffiti!

Mz-cellaneous - NO FUN!!!! :-(

John C said...

That wannabe mechanic sounded spooky...he...could have been a cannibal waiting for opportunity.

...cannibals are the worst, especially the ones that look normal and wanna help.

A Free Man said...

I like graffiti that is a statement of the obvious. "Oprah Winfrey is wealthy". Brilliant.

Lara Neves said...

So I'm guessing the first guy didn't know how to hook up the jumper cables. Black is negative is seared into my mind after nearly burning off my hand doing it wrong.

And you know, I'm really glad you avoided cannibalism.

PS I've gone the last few months wondering why you never update, only to realize that I somehow managed to unsubscribe from your blog. All fixed, thank goodness, or maybe I would have resorted to cannibalism. Although I'm not sure why.

Jill said...

John C. - You mean all cannibals aren't helpful?!?!?!

AFM - :-) :-) :-)

Lara - Avoiding cannibalism is always a relief! And it must be super easy to accidentally unsubscribe, because I've done that very same thing more than once even. Maybe the computer just decides it doesn't like a blog anymore?!?

John C said...

Only Billy Connolly's character in "Fido". Lovely story of a boy and his zombie, which counts as cannibal. I got misty eyed on that one, I think it's still on Netflix.

Bruce Johnson said...

Nothing says goog blog like bathroom graffiti....keep up the good work.

Jill said...

John C. - Sounds like a tear jerker alright!

Thanks Bruce!

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