Friday, May 29, 2015

12 Easy Steps to a Typical Meal with Just-Turned-Three Year Old

Here's what lunch with the Head of Demolition looks these days:

1) Spill open faced sandwich face down on the floor
2) Cry because Mom won't allow eating the part that fell in cat fur
3) Cry for food off Mom's plate
4) Cry over not having enough food
5) Demand more food from refrigerator without finishing food on plate
6) Cover food with placemat in retaliation for Mom's non-compliance
7) Cry because plate gets taken away
8) Promise to eat food on plate
9) Eat just enough bites of food from returned plate to gain food from fridge
10) Cry for more food from fridge
11) Declare end of meal
12) Abandon new food

Someone remind me - when is it exactly that these people become good company at meals?  I remember enjoying meals with the older kids; I just can't remember when!

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

We're okay in Houston. Neighbors are not as okay.

Thank you to all who have asked about us. We are good here  - the bark was definitely worse than the bite in our neighborhood.

Two of our three routes to town are flooded, road closed.  I didn't check the final route, but my partner in crime managed to make it to work so I guess that way must be open.

Flooding on Turtle Creek

Flooding near Houston, Texas

The golf course:

Quail Valley Golf Course

Out to repair Quail Valley Golf Course

There was one tree down, but the golfers seemed happy about that.  It turns out to have been blocking a hole:

Last but not least, we saw a lot of turtles wandering around, checking out the flood conditions I suppose.

So, that wasn't at all wordless and it wasn't even Wednesday know...flood.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

In Which I Meet a Friend and Give Away Her New Book

I made a new friend in Blogsilvania a couple months ago and then...wonder of wonders!  I actually got to MEET her!  Which never, ever happens to me.  Our kids had a great time destroying playing at the Museum of Natural Science and every so often Kerrie and I even got a word in edgewise.

The scene of the crime: hanging from a molecule
I was sad that Kerrie's husband wasn't going to be working in Houston again anytime soon, but so happy to get my hands on a copy of her book!

I had always wondered how to get started writing for regional family magazines, and here Kerrie knew all along.  She has all the information and advice you need to get started right in her book! Not only that but here's your chance to WIN Kerrie's book for FREE!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Of course, if you're not the contest entering type, you can always buy a copy from my affiliate link:

Make Money to Write About Your Kids

Good luck people and happy writing!!!

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Friday, May 15, 2015

Stuff You Didn't Know You Needed from Amazon

Disclaimer: These are affiliate links.

I was shopping on Amazon for Banana Flour (which is quite yummy and makes a very nice gluten free coating) when I came upon cricket flour and tiger nuts.  It kind of made me wonder what other kind of weird stuff was on Amazon.

I know, for sure for sure somebody's going to tell me that Cricket Flour is a healthy staple and they enjoy it tremendously. But me, all these products are kind of funny:

100% Cricket Flour

They say soon we'll all be eating a steady diet of bugs.  I guess we can get started with ease now.

And as if that weren't enough, I also happened upon Tiger Nuts.  Because.  Everyone eats Tiger Nuts.

TIGER NUTS - Supreme Peeled12 oz

This has been on my wish list forever.  Because, I mean...who knew?

Unicorns Are Jerks: a coloring book exposing the cold, hard, sparkly truth

Since I'm already on the topic of unicorns:

And who wouldn't want to chase unicorn meat with some Zombie Jerky?

We actually already own these Bacon Band-aids

And these "Large Pickle Shaped Adhesive Bandages "

Because our household is just bizarre that way. Or fun loving, one or the other.

This one might actually be good for nine year old boys who are reluctant bathers.  Maybe they'd get extra clean:

Fun Runny Nose Shower Gel Dispenser

Anyway, that's about all the Amazon scouring I can manage for one day, but there's just so MUCH for sale!  Got any silly Amazon favorites?

Friday, May 08, 2015

Everywhere We Go, I Want to Live There: Part 2...or Seven Top Secret Things to Discover About Houston by visiting San Francisco.'re not really so very secretive...Or Why Houston is Yet Again THE BEST...if it happens that you like to rollerblade.

We visited San Francisco over Spring Break and of course, now I want to live there. As soon I finish living in Kemah, Jerusalem, San Antonio, New York City and New Orleans.

I'd link to my original post titled "Everywhere We Go, I Want to Live There", but it turns out that I posted that during my Flickr stage and the photos are not viewable until I have the chance to update them.

In any case, here is a list(icle) of seven things I found out about Houston by visiting San Francisco:

1) Houston is not really the prettiest.

Actually, I learn this every time I go anywhere. But it seems to be really driven home in San Francisco, where so many buildings ooze history and the hills make even the littered streets look like a roller coaster ride.

2) Houston is polite.

In Houston, people who are boarding an elevator wait for the people inside to exit. It’s a clear and congenial process. In San Francisco, I found myself wondering if I’d be able to exit the elevator at all.

3) Except when we’re not.

In Houston, crosswalks may as well not exist. Sure, it’s nice to have that bright white paint ensuring us that we’re not breaking any laws. But far be it from anyone in a car to actually yield to to the poor, hapless soul who happens to be trying to cross the street. In San Francisco, on the other hand, cars slow down and may even stop.

4) Everything is bigger in Texas.  Except seagulls.

Texas has small seagulls. Apparently.
Seagulls in San Francisco are the size of chickens. I'm pretty sure this guy was going to mug me for my lunch. Even when (out of sheer curiosity) I pedaled a rented bicycle toward him, he wasn't about to be intimidated.
Do Try This at Home: San Francisco...home to giant, giant sea gulls
Of COURSE I would be more than happy to act as a giant umbrella for TWO people.  Just hand over the french fries first.
5) Houston is not set up for walking or biking.

I know, everybody already knows that. But I thought that being non-bike friendly meant that bikers took their lives into their own hands when they got on a bike, and that there was really no where to go anyway.

I had no idea it meant we lacked separate lanes for bikes and their own little traffic lights.

6) In Houston, we hide our homeless.

As far as I can tell from the always-correct internet, the actual number of homeless in each city is not so very different. Yet somehow homeless people seem to be everywhere in San Francisco. In Houston you could conceivably go about your merry way thinking that every resident has a home.

I can only speculate that in Houston they are more spread out and seeking air conditioning, while in San Francisco a nap on the sidewalk is a much more reasonable proposition.

On the flip side, San Francisco has way more dancing in the streets.

Do Try This at Home: San Francisco dancing in the street

Do Try This at Home: San Francisco guitar player

Do Try This at Home: San Francisco Dancing near the dock

Let's finish this out with a good word for Houston, because why not I ask you?!?

7) Houston is THE best place in the entire world to rollerblade.

I always consider bringing my roller blades with me whenever I travel. But seeing how miserable I would be on rollerblades in places with hills reminds me that Houston's not so bad after all, especially for rollerbladers.  Because it is flat as a pancake.  A crepe even!  It's like water that way - seeks it's own level and its level is flat, flat, FLAT!

So that's it folks! Slap on the rollerblades and come out for a visit! Unless, for some absurd reason, you're too busy vacationing in San Francisco, Kemah, Jerusalem, New York City or New Orleans, Houston is DEFINITELY the place!


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