Sunday, July 29, 2012

All Babies are Boys Unless Proven Otherwise

All babies are boys unless proven otherwise. I can tell, because even when I used to dress the Sweet Pea in pink overalls people would ask me how old "he" was.

So you see, this baby has on a little white shirt with grey hearts and a pink butterfly. Yep, she's definitely a boy. Because...grey pants.

But you know what automatically changes any baby suddenly into a girl? Frilly pink head things. So when I put on this sunhat, she's magically a girl:
The problem is, it's hard to wear a frilly hat when you don't really have the whole holding up your head thing down pat yet.

The Guy doesn't like it when I put frilly head things on the baby, but I still do it anyway sometimes.

Because when she's dressed like this:
And even like this with all the flowers...

Everyone asks "How old is HE?" But that just doesn't happen with a frilly head thing.

In other news, all the warning labels are right: the baby's safety device tried to kill me. We got one of those kind of baby monitors that tells you if they stop breathing. The problem is, we get a false alarm or two now and again. Needless to say the first couple of false alarms sent me careening towards the crib, heedless of things in my way. Such as the baby swing. I won't show a picture because...I only rush for the camera when one of the CHILDREN is injured. But, so much for the safety devices keeping us safe.

So that's it from around here - the baby is a girl and her baby paraphernalia, previously happy to just endanger the baby, now has it in for the adults too.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Babies Like to Live Dangerously. Those daredevils are always on the edge!!

Colic seems to be abating a little around here. Part of this poor kid's problem is that she wants to do everything they don't let babies do anymore. She wants very badly to sleep on her stomach (SIDS risk). She wants to be extra bundled and warm (more SIDS risk), and she wants to use her baby products inappropriately.

For example, she loves to sit on a this baby pillow on the bed and watch the ceiling fan. She smiles at the ceiling fan. She talks to the ceiling fan. My dad says she speaks fan-ese. The-Guy says she's a fan fan.

Unfortunately, she's taking a deathly risk with this seemingly innocuous activity.

Here's a picture of the pillow with the warning label on the front.

Other warning labels hang off the back. It's a VERY VERY dangerous product! And one of the warnings clearly says, "Do not use in crib, cradle, bassinet, playpen, play yard, bed, or on any elevated surface."

ALL her products are equally likely to kill her. Apparently.

She loves this play gym:

It's every bit as dangerous as her pillow though:

In fact, ALL her baby paraphernalia has umpteen warnings of your child's untimely demise.

The labels should really just say, "Watch your kid you idiot! And don't blame us when tragedy strikes because we TOLD you this product was intended to knock off your baby!"

So that's the story from around here. The colic is getting a little better and all her toys want to kill her off.
She's getting more resigned to the fact though, and dare I say even happy now and again?

Thursday, July 12, 2012

It Turns Out That This Has Turned Into a Baby Pictures Blog

Two months old today and baby has taken over my blog. Apparently.

What does she have to say for herself? Sources close to her report that her exact words were something along the lines of "I stole your blog! Nanny nanny boo boo, so there!!!"

Wednesday, July 04, 2012

Happy Fourth of July from Baby

No babies were harmed in the making of this photo. One may have been slightly traumatized though. And a couple of silverfish may have been rendered homeless.


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