Do You Suppose the Plumber Gives a Discount for Multiple Disposal Purchases? You Know, for People Who Break a Lot of Glass? Into the Disposal...Where it Burns out the Motor...

We're happy around here even though we've had two ER visits within a week and a half of each other. As you can tell from this picture, eating the glass didn't bother the Boogaloo any. In fact it was so delicious that she decided eating the handle of my hammer would be a great idea too.

Remember I said I break a LOT of glasses? Well this time I just looked into the sink and there it was, another broken glass. But I rooted around in our brand new disposal trying to collect all the glass, rather than burning out the motor the way I did the last time. I'm pretty sure this time was attempted suicide.

Did I mention that jigsaw puzzles are not my favorite? Neither is digging my hand around old-food-covered sharp blades in dark places.

So anyway, we had yet another hospital visit as The-Guy caught a cold and had allergies that overstayed their welcome.

There's not so much to do for a 14 month old for two days straight in a hospital room.

Once they had his oxygen levels up, Dad got a little bored too, to tell the truth.

But everyone's all fixed now and ready for some hospital free time.

In hats and boots of course.

You know what I sometimes forget when in a rush to get to the emergency room?

My camera.

Luckily I got an iphone last weekend, so my emergency room pictures will be better than they were when That Boy O Mine busted his head open and we could see his brains. (Don't look unless you don't mind seeing skull).

I'm so excited about having a camera on my phone that when it rings, I'm surprised. Because I forgot it was a phone.

So this is still a cell phone picture, but here's the little lady in the hospital yesterday afternoon:

What might this innocent looking thing might have done you ask? We're pretty sure she swallowed glass. I may have mentioned I break a lot of glass. I think I even posted once about how I got a drinking glass, a sugar bowl and some other piece of kitchenware in one fell swoop. And I clean up REALLY well. Because there's a baby in the house.

So we were about to leave to do some shopping, and Boonga was helping us out in the kitchen as usual.

She actually wasn't cleaning out the garbage can. She was emptying a cabinet that I generally think of as safe. It turns out not to be as safe as I thought though, because the baby found a little of the broken glass. Did it bother her that the glass was cutting her tongue? Not particularly.

I took the one piece out of her mouth, but she swallowed something else while I was fishing. And then I called The Guy for help and then we called the pediatrician. The pediatrician said the words, "emergency room" and "pediatric surgeon" and then I just started nodding into the phone even though he couldn't hear me.

So we went to the emergency room and had The Boogaloo's second X-ray in her 14 months of life. But we luckily didn't need a surgeon. And all we have to do is watch for glass (or blood) in her pooey for the next week.

You wouldn't think someone this sweet looking could be so full of trouble, but I have to admit that I grabbed the little brown tuft out of her mouth right after snapping this picture:

Ok. Not the very exact second after:

That's the news from here! Well, not all of it, but at least the over excitement we had yesterday.

You're a Grand Old Flag! And and quite delicious too...

You're a Grand Old Flag! You're a high flying flag!

And forever in peace...ummmm...forever in peace...what was I doing with this thing again?

Oh yeah, I remember now. Eating it.

What do you mean proper flag etiquette doesn't include munching on the stars and stripes?!?!?!

Oh well. Back to eating random stuff I find on the ground. Happy Fourth of July People!

How to be a Toddler - An Instruction Manual with Illustrations (Brought to you by a Real Baby)

Take apart lamps in restaurants.

Don't bother taking apart the ones at home. You can just break those.

Eat all this stuff. It doesn't have to be all at once. But a wide variety is a good thing.

Don't even worry about choking. Your mama will take it out of your mouth. Try and get a game of "chase" out of her first though.

Eat blackberries directly off the bush.

Even if they're not at all ripe.

And don't taste exactly right.

Pick the stuffing out of your changing mat where it has split. Supplement your diet of things you found on the floor with this delicacy on a daily or even hourly basis.

Lower yourself into the pool in the deep end while mama is looking at you through the viewfinder of the camera.

Again, don't worry about personal safety. Your mama will rescue you. Right after she snaps the picture.

If she puts you in the shallow part though, ask to get out right away.

But still be upset if mama asks daddy to rinse you with the hose just because you're done.

Eat the thingies that lower the blinds.

And lip stick. And diaper cream. And small change. But most of all books. Magazines too. Look at them for awhile first though, so the adults around you will get confused and think that you're past that stage.

Last but not least, if sucking on the soles of shoes has ceased to alarm your parents because you partake of the delicacy so often, try making a mad dash for the sharpest knives every time they open the dishwasher.

It's especially effective if you immediately run your bounty across your lips just after you've seized it and before they can catch you.

I have a bunch of other fun activities too, but that's about it for this public service announcement. Brought to you by your friendly innocent looking thirteen month old: