Short of Scandelous... | Do Try This at Home: Short of Scandelous...

Friday, May 18, 2007

Short of Scandelous...

I hope. Since I stuck with tame the past couple weeks (except for a mini-volcano-heart-attack for my mom and dad), I guess I’ll go ahead with blogging about birth control and random phrases this time.

I couldn’t help but notice one day when I went into the pharmacy that they have their birth control in a *locked* cabinet. Curiosity got the better of me and I had to ask the pharmacist about it while picking up my daughter’s prescription. “You really gotta lock that stuff up?!?” He was quite chatty about it and I was immediately glad I had inquired. “Yes”, he told me, “and you’d be surprised at how long it takes the men to ask me to unlock the cabinet. They’ll stand around here for *hours* waiting for there to be nobody around.” He went on to explain that studies had actually shown that women were much more likely to waltz right in and ask to buy what they needed, the theory being that they were accustomed to having to buy tampons in public so it was easier for them to generalize their lack of discomfort to other products bound for that particular part of the body.

I could be way off base on this one, but if I were a store owner I’m thinking the birth control would be the last thing I’d lock up. Surely there must be more expensive items sitting right there on the shelf for the taking. And in all honesty, if I were a store owner planning on keeping my business around a good long while, perhaps even leaving it to my children someday, I’d be pointing shoplifters in EXACTLY that direction. I’d be like, “The disposable cameras and perfumes are locked up right over here, but the condoms are evenly distributed around the store. Try stealing some on your way out, would you?”

Doesn't it make perfect sense to encourage people who steal NOT to reproduce for lack of the measly cost of a condom? Why make it so difficult for them?

I got three new words/phrases this week that I’m pretty pleased with:

Hyper-focus – My dictionary had no interest in this word, although Wikipedia provided the definition I would have expected. This word perfectly describes those times when the world disappears except whatever particular endeavor MUST be completed at that time.

Next time regular life-spackle, phone calls, and even food are ignored in favor of a creative outlet, try helping me use this word in a sentence. I haven’t quite yet figured out how and I forgot its original context. Is it “Yes, I was home, but I couldn’t answer the phone. I was working in hyper-focus on a handmade card.”? Or “No, I didn’t end up making those cookies I was talking about. I was a victim of hyper-focus that day.” Or maybe it’s more of a verb: “No. I didn’t actually do any laundry today. I was hyper-focusing on a painting.”

Acci-date – The original definition I got for this word actually sounded sort of awkward and unpleasant, and I imagine it’s hard to dress for the occasion much less avoid garlic. But an accidental date definitely has potential, especially if one gets to describe it using the word “acci-date”.

Mental margarita: These are bound to make tough days a lot more bearable.

10 comments:

j said...

ITA about the accessibility of birth control! I can think of several people I'd point in that direction! ;-) Love your post! Janet

Colleen said...

Love the idea of letting the stealers tkae the condoms and try and prevent some reproduction! Love the "mental margarita" idea too! Always love your musings!

Debbi said...

Hmmm.....I have never seen condoms locked up. Not that I have looked in a VERY long time. Very interesting.

Jill said...

Yeah, ever since I first noticed that I've sort of been looking around the different drug stores & some are locked up & some aren't, for whatever reason. *shrug shrug* :-)

toners said...

ITA about letting those thieves take the condoms :) And "acci-date"...yup, I've had a few of those over the years :) Fun post!!

melissa said...

lol at the 'mental margarita' ;)

and I agree..wierd how they lock up condoms and birth control

Irisi said...

At a local walgreens, they lock up condoms and monistat.

Seriously.

If someone is so desperate for monistat that they need to shoplift it, isn't it kind of a humanitarian service to just let the poor woman steal it and cure her raging yeast infection?

Ms. Q said...

I've also seen condoms behind locked glass cases but it depends on the neighborhood. Those with a lot of shoplifting have things like condoms, brands of cosmetics, and wrinkle creams locked up. Good way to know what kind of neighborhood you're in.

Aaah, the "acci-date!" I have to use that when I get around to writing about my acci-dates!

I have been pretty clueless about being on a date due to a couple of factors:

-My age. At 42 I seem to be inert to most men. That is, I hold no sexual appeal. Then again, I haven't been in the mood to send out any signals. Now that I am in the mood, I am not sure how to send signals.

-No radar or "antennae" as my mom calls it. Unless I am out on some online personal-related obvious date, if I get together with a guy, it's usually something like, "Hey! why don't we have dinner!" and I don't sense any "date vibes"

I pretty much have to have signs held up to me. One guy I knew said over dinner, "You have no idea we're on a date, do you?"

Uh...no. So THAT's why you look more dressed up than usual.

Jill said...

No kidding Irisi!! They can just pass out condoms and monistat at the door...

MsQ - How FUNNY about the date comment!!!!! Yeah, I think it had to be pointed out to me somewhat blatantly too. I was like "Oh. Flirting. Ok, I think I remember what that is..."

But 42?!?!?!?!? THAT'S SOOOOOOO not old enough to be inert!!!! Least I hope not...42's not too far around the corner for me...

Saradevil said...

I fucking love that rationale (pardon my French I'm drinking and commenting, hello summer vacation, hello hangover). Let them steal condoms, let them eat cake, and please let them steal condoms. I'd rather have them stealing condoms then Robotusin any day of the week.

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