Socksville | Do Try This at Home: Socksville

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Socksville

Hello folks and sorry for the long absence, but internet has been a long time coming to the new digs. We are semi-moved in, meaning we are here, our crap is here, but much of it is still in boxes and unavailable.

As in my last move, I learned a lot. Some of which I actually relearned from my last move (that I own a heck of a lot of crap, for instance) but some of which was totally news to me.

For instance you know how when you look in your sock drawer and it seems like one sock from each and every pair has abandoned ship? And you know how some people say that the wayward socks got caught between the agitator and the tub when you put them in the wash and that's where they all go?

That explanation always sounded plausible to me, but I found out that the sock-caught-in-washing-machine-explanation is urban myth. I know this for certain because I found out exactly what happens to the missing socks of our nation.

This is it: my son has stolen all your socks, folks! It's true! He snuck into your sock drawer and stole more socks than you can shake a stick at. Then he distributed them all over our former apartment.

I'm talking ALL OVER! I'm talking like when you're camping and you lift up a rock and you are just about flat out guaranteed to find a creepy crawly underneath, that's how assured I was of finding a sock under any and every object I picked up to pack up to cart off to the new place. I'm talking if they had been spread out instead of balled up and hidden under various objects, we could have used them as wall to wall carpet.

So I apologize on behalf of my boy for the missing socks folks. And if you'll just give me your mailing address I'll make sure and send them back postage paid...in fact, while you're at it if you'll just put down your phone number and social security number and date of birth and...

KIDDING!!! I'm not really sending back the socks. But I will post pictures of the new place once I find out in which cardboard box my brain is packed. And also, you can all rest peacefully assured that I will be much more vigilant in the monitoring of our household socks from here on out.

13 comments:

Ingrid said...

Can't WAIT to see some pics of the new house! I want to see tons of them!

I'm glad you solved the sock thing. I don't expect it back, but could you let your son know I was really attached to the pink fuzzy pair I had? Unless I become a peg-legged pirate, I'll never be able to enjoy them again. He may as well have stolen them both, an I hope he breaks this awful habit.

Unknown said...

Or I will give you my bank details can you just add up the value of the socks and transfer it to my account? What? You need my password too? Sure.

Christine said...

That is excellent. Now, whenever my husband asks where his socks went, I can tell him they are in Texas.

Jill said...

Ingrid - I'll keep a lookout for a pink fuzzy pair! I mean, he generally goes for the nasty looking boy socks, but he's not really too particular so he may have just grabbed a pink one.

OH! SJ!!! I forgot to request bank account details and passwords! Thanks for reminding me & send them right over!! :-) :-) :-)

Yes, Christine, now you have an easy answer for him. His socks are in Texas, home of the free and well-heeled.

ALF said...

I am glad to hear that the socks have been located.

Bruce Johnson said...

I need to talk to your son about my Argyles......soon.

Heather said...

Finally, an answer to the missing sock dilemma! My son and husband both have some missing ones! Although sometimes I find them in my husbands car. I often think he's trying to move into his car as a second home for the amount of stuff that I find stashed in there.

Jill said...

Alf - Isn't it a relief after all these years of wondering?

Bruce - I'll have him keep an eye out for them!

Heather - Oops. I'm the same way with my car. I don't even want to say what all is in my trunk at the moment!

Janet said...

Ha ha!! That explains a LOT! Although I'm not sure what he would want with my pink fuzzy socks...
Glad to hear you guys have moved out of the place with no roof! We need to see pics to fully appreciate this transition! Congrats on the new place!

John C said...

Know what it's like doing a move and the internet connection. Seems like the PC is the first thing to get unpacked. lol

A WiFi router can sometimes help pick up other unsecured WiFi users you can try to piggy back on. :)

Jill said...

Thanks Janet!!! I'm going to post pictures once I get my computer working! We have internet now, but I can only use it if I borrow a computer because my wireless thing broke somehow. :-(

Thanks John C! I think I might have done that by accident during the hurricane. Unfortunately it won't work now - my wireless card thing is not working so now the problem is that although they put internet into the house, I can't actually use it.

Anonymous said...

Ya know, I wouldn't think you'd have that much cr*..uh, stuff. You don't seem like a stuff person. I know you have a scrunchie fetish but I realize you're just saying that an you're really an Enabler for Sugar.

I don't lose many socks. I think my mom has lost enough gloves, scarves, hats, coin purses, pens and suchlike for the current century. If you're around someone who's leaving a trail, you tend not lose stuff yourself.

But..at least I know where any socks I lose may be found.

Jill said...

Oh-muh-gosh Ms. Q I was flabbergasted at how much crap I own. Actually, it's a post unto itself one of these days.

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