"I'm getting sick and tired of all these traffic tickets! I'm going to have to try something new. Like obeying the law."My most recent transgression was sent to me through the mail, which seems particularly cruel. Not only is it impossible to remember why I might or might not have committed a particular violation THREE WEEKS AGO, but all drama is removed.
I'm just innocently going through the mail when suddenly I'm attacked by a photo of my license plate.
Gone is the wondering, "Is that ME getting pulled over?!"
Gone is the panic, "What was I doing wrong? Can I find my insurance card? Is my registration up to date? What about my inspection?"
Gone is the chance to talk your way out of a ticket. I hardly ever manage, but I usually at least make the effort. I got out of one when I was 19 or 20 via this conversation:
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?And I WAS more careful next time. WAY more careful! And for lots and lots of next times after that. I just have trouble remembering to drive more slowly ALL the time.
Me: Was I going too fast?
Him: You were speeding.
Me: But I saw a deer! It came right in front of my car! It was so close!
Him: Let me get this straight. There was a deer in the road so you drove faster?!?
Me: I wanted to get home to tell my goddaughter. She's going to be so excited! I just really wanted to tell her.
Him: Well just remember this is a neighborhood. And be more careful next time.
And apparently I have trouble now and again remembering to stop at the yellow and red lights too. Because when I got my ticket in the mail, it showed a website where I could watch myself sailing through an intersection, not a care in the world, luckily not crushed to death by oncoming traffic, and definitely unable to talk my way out of a ticket.
In other news, it is EIGHTEEN stinking degrees here in Texas this morning. EIGHTEEN!
I'd like to know where to register my complaint.
Because we already have hurricanes and fire ants and cockroaches for crying out loud. What we do NOT have around these parts is proper insulation and air tight houses. So yes, our pipes are frozen, thank you very much.
Here are some upside down signs at that very same intersection where I got the ticket. They look like they're doing gymnastics, or at least headstands. They've been that way all week. I hope that their backs have gotten a good stretch and that they're ready to go back to work next week:
I hope everyone had a good first week in 2010!