Sunday, December 30, 2012

Just in case you need help getting your sibling and/or sibling-in-law to hate your guts for life, I recommend buying your neices and nephews knives for gifts

My boy, the one who says things like, "I don't know the date! I don't even know what month it is. (pause) I barely keep track of the year..." had a birthday recently.

Unfortunately, he kept track of the month and date well enough to figure out that two of his most difficult midterms fell on his birthday.

To make up for it, he got out of having his picture taken with his birthday brownies:

Just kidding! How can you let a kid have a birthday brownie without taking his picture with them first?

But it's okay. We're going to have him another birthday today. Meanwhile we're having fun hanging out with family and having conversations like this:

The Guy (to my nephew) - "Don't give the baby honey. It can give her botulism."
Me - "He's not giving her honey; he's giving her blood."
The Guy - "Oh. Don't give the baby blood."
Nephew - "I'm just SHOWING her the blood."

And also,

Me (to my nephew) - "How did you cut your finger the other night?"
Nephew - "That was my brother who cut his finger"
Me - "No he cut his finger twice earlier in the night. But then you cut your finger too."
My mom - "It was at the skiway, on his skis"
Me - "No, that was Jared who cut his finger on the skis"
Jared - "It was on the honey. He was trying to cut open a honey stick."
Nephew - "Oh that's right."

For some reason I thought it was a good idea to give my teenage nephews pocket knives as gifts. Needless to say, that turned out to be a less than wonderful idea.


Beth said...

Gregg wanted me to get my nephew a Swiss Army knife but I didn't. Gregg has such fond memories from boy scouts of using those knives for so many things, I explained to him that kids these days don't whittle and go out in nature and don't care about the knives. Reading this, I am glad I chose to ignore his suggestion!

MarkD60 said...

I got a pocket knife as a gift too!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Yeah, Beth, I also gave them flash drives which went through the wash in various pants pockets. I think my gifts were good intentioned, but ultimately kind of a flop.

Mark - Try not to cut yourself up with your new pocket knife! It makes the gift giver feel very guilty.

Arizaphale said...

Re the Swiss army knives. Unless they get an opportunity, they'll never learn to whittle etc. We have an old South African teacher at the school who runs an Outdoor Ed Camp. He teaches the kids to whittle, make homemade torches, make their own knives and forks etc...they LOVE it! I'm not sure the knives were a flop simply because they cut their fingers :-) I mean, they didn't cut them OFF did they?? :-D Meanwhile, Happy Birthday to your 'drop dead gorgeous' boy!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Arizaphale - No, they didn't cut them off. :-) I actually used to play with knives throughout my childhood and even went through a period when I found a lot of knives just playing outdoors. Thanks on the boy! :-) :-) :-)

The Ceol Mors said...

WOW! J looks so grown up. *sniff* So handsome, funny and smart- you must be terribly proud of him.

I still think of J as the little dude running around Uncle B's. Crap. This means we are old.

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