I give incredibly strict parent of the week award to ME this week for these two:
For saying "get out of my hair for a second" in a way proven to get instant results -
"Go ahead! Eat the candy! Please! Rot out every last tooth in your head!!!!!!"
(I'm still not sure why they complain about the all natural organic peanut butter or the 100% whole wheat bread in their lunches.)
And this incredibly effective punishment-
Me - "This car is NOT MOVING until you two QUIT ARGUING and apologize to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Cassie (scowling) - "Sorry."
Jared (monotone) - "I'm sorry I hit you. Next time I won't hit."
Me (realizing what parking lot I happened to have pulled into) - "OH LOOK! We're at the Israeli bakery! You guys want some pita and hummus?"
I'm going to start teaching parenting classes next week.