I'm RUTHLESS I tell 'ya! | Do Try This at Home: I'm RUTHLESS I tell 'ya!

Thursday, March 06, 2008

I'm RUTHLESS I tell 'ya!

I give incredibly strict parent of the week award to ME this week for these two:

For saying "get out of my hair for a second" in a way proven to get instant results -
"Go ahead! Eat the candy! Please! Rot out every last tooth in your head!!!!!!"
(I'm still not sure why they complain about the all natural organic peanut butter or the 100% whole wheat bread in their lunches.)

And this incredibly effective punishment-
Me - "This car is NOT MOVING until you two QUIT ARGUING and apologize to each other!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Cassie (scowling) - "Sorry."
Jared (monotone) - "I'm sorry I hit you. Next time I won't hit."
Me (realizing what parking lot I happened to have pulled into) - "OH LOOK! We're at the Israeli bakery! You guys want some pita and hummus?"

I'm going to start teaching parenting classes next week.

14 comments:

delmer said...

Was it three years ago that I dropped the F-bomb? I can't recall, after a while it all blurs together.

That got instant results. And I didn't even shout it. I just said, conversationally and without thinking, "Will you shut the F up, son?"

All three of the boys froze. I asked the one how mad he thought I must be to let that slip ... he said, "very mad" just before he burst into tears. (But he did STFU.)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Delmer - HEY! You can be my co-teacher!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Lara said...

And your parenting award is WELL deserved. Amen.

Roger said...

"ARE WE THERE YET MOMMY"

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Thanks Lara!

Roger, you know what stops the "Are we there yets?" and "How much longers?" in their tracks? Repeating the same exact answer (preferably some absurd amount of time like "only 3 more days") each and every time they ask, no matter how close or far away you are. Seriously. My kids don't even bother to ask.

Ingrid said...

You might want to mention in your parenting class that the stopping of the car trick doesn't work whe your on your way to take them to school or to the doctors appointment. Don't ask me how I know.

Alli said...

oh atleast you pulled over, I just threaten I'm going to have to start following through.. you probably lost effectiveness by taking them to the bakery though LMAO.. I would have done the same thing though

Kerry McKibbins said...

I LOVE this post!!! LOL!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Oh Ingrid, you'd be surprised! We were on our way to HEBREW SCHOOL, which is not just school, but school until eight thirty at night AFTER a full day of regular school! :-0 :-0 :-0

Alli - Yeah, you have to follow through now & then or you lose credibility. Seriously though, I was about to go out of my mind with their arguing, so I had to SOMETHING! Something being buy them treats from the Israeli bakery, obviously. Shrug shrug.

Thanks Kerry!

jp said...

Yep..Parenting by bribes and threats...that's my philosophy! ;-)

Noelia said...

Haha! Whatever works right?

ALF said...

pita and hummus - ha ha ha!

Urban Thought said...

Great technique. My mother would do it with just a look. If words were necessary, she would talk through her teeth and I'd get the picture as if I drew it myself.

I like how direct you are. Eat the candy/no teeth. Not an exact quote. But nothing wrong with telling them the worst case scenario.

Sounds like your kids are well on their way to becoming good friends.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

jp & Alf - Yes, the ultimate threat! Pita & hummus. Bakery treats are only for the WORST behavior!!!!! KIDDING!!!! Ok, so not totally kidding...

Noelia - Well, for whatever it's worth, there was no more fighting for the remaining 20 minutes of the drive, so guess so!

Urban Thought - My brother & I were like cats & dogs at that age. These days I don't know what I'd do without him, so I guess there is hope. They do spend their free time making each other little treasure hunts & secret codes & stuff so they may turn out friends yet!

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