On Helping People Decide Whether or not to Steal Condoms | Do Try This at Home: On Helping People Decide Whether or not to Steal Condoms

Sunday, March 02, 2008

On Helping People Decide Whether or not to Steal Condoms

I'm still fascinated by the google searches that find this blog. I feel like I might possibly be helping out the umpteen searches I get per day for chapter books, picture books and the like. But I'm less certain how helpful I can be to the people who searched for these:

Tampon eating
Tampon munching

To both of you, I'm going to say I think they'd be a little dry.

stealing condoms
I’ve already stated my opinion on stealing condoms: Steal them. Do the human race a favor and steal some condoms if you are so inclined. Please.

i always do all the calling
If you're the guy, you SHOULD do all the calling! I've explained my reasoning several times over, but in my opinion the phone calls are the guy's job. The gal's job is to glance at the phone now and again as if it's betrayed her and wonder why you haven't called.

heroine addict personality
I really only feel qualified to give advice on dating coke heads. I apparently don't even recognize a heroine addict even when I talk to him extensively about xanax, or whatever the heck it was Shannon had to offer. Actually, I'm not all that great at recognizing the coke heads in a timely fashion either.

sugar booty

I don't know what “sugar booty” is, but I’m wondering if it’s related to “booty balls”, a product my friend Laurie added to my shopping list recently while I wasn’t looking. I went ahead & added it to the shopping list of the-guy-who-knows-a-song-about-a-chicken while HE wasn’t looking too, because whatever the heck they are, it sounds like you could never have too many...as opposed to:

hair booty

I don't know what hair booty is either, but it sounds a whole lot less appetizing than the sugar booty.

This is a picture of an Alcoholics Anonymous (Unidos Venceremos) right next door to a liquor store. My dad asked about it when he went into the liquor store one day. The guy at the counter shrugged and said, "We were here first."
This picture is at the request of my 12 year old Cassie, who thought all the beer bottles next to a sign about it being illegal to drink would be funny. I'm not really all that great at making those arrows, but for her sake I did my best:


RW said...

Those searches of yours are awesome Jill! Sorry I have been gone for awhile busy moving were I work to a new store & its finally done!! Have a great night & a awesome tomorrow!! :D

People in the Sun said...

It could have helped if the tampon muncher's father stole a couple of condoms.

And here you are, number 62 for heroine addict personality. And if you add quotation marks, you're the only result on Google. Victory!

Jill said...

Thanks Roger & you too!

People - So someone actually looked through sixty two other websites before discovering that I know absolutely nothing about heroine addict personality?!?!?!?! And I thought I spent too much time on the internet! Maybe I should study up on it & post or something...

Janet said...

Love those searches! It does make one wonder about some of the ppl who are doing those searches... I checked mine awhile back and found mine included hand lotion and fruitcake. :-)

Sarah Coggins said...

Isn't it bizarre the searches people do?? And more so when random weird terms bring them to our blogs. Mind boggling, but funny. BTW, loved the photos. :)

Heather said...

How do you know about the searches?? And yes, very bizzare!

Anonymous said...

LOL... I never thought to write a post about the searches. I think I may after reading this post. I find the terms that people use to find me interesting.

I would assume sugar booty has something to do with some sweet ass. But don't mind my train of thought. It's been a long day.

Jill said...

jp - I ALWAYS look to your blog when I want to know more about hand lotion & fruitcake!!!!! KIDDING!!!!!!!! I actually look to your blog for cute kitties. :-)

Sarah C - Yeah, I don't think the majority of these people find what they're looking for here! And thanks on the pictures!

Heather - If you add that little sitemeter thing I have on the bottom of my right hand column, it will tell you!

Urban thought - I think you should! I'd certainly be interested in seeing your more interesting searches!

Unknown said...

lol I love this post! I needed a good laugh today. Thanks!

Ingrid said...

ROFL at "We were here first", how wonderful is THAT?!

I shudder to think what google searches lead people to my blog. Part of my truly does not want to know. You're a brave woman for finding out.

Carey said...

You just gave me stitches from laughing so hard.

"We were here first." LOL!

And OMG, Tampon Munching! LOL!

the frogster said...

Mmmmmm... sugar booty. Yowza! now I'm gonna have to go steal some condoms.

Jill said...

You're welcome Miranda & thanks!

C'mon Ingrid!!!!! Just a little peek!!!!!!!!! :-0 :-0 :-)

And thanks Bastet!

Frogger - You are TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to go over to your blog now & make sure you're not in jail...
:-0 :-0 :-0


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