I'm Losing My Mind (and anything else that comes into close contact with me) | Do Try This at Home: I'm Losing My Mind (and anything else that comes into close contact with me)

Friday, December 12, 2008

I'm Losing My Mind (and anything else that comes into close contact with me)

because it's December and that's what I do EVERY December. So don't expect this post to make any sense. I'm only writing it because my blog was getting old and stale, and my daughter sprained a couple more things and got a few more x-rays and besides that, it SNOWED IN HOUSTON!!!!!

So we had to take pictures, because the last time there was snow in Houston was 2004, and it happens the kids and I were out of town that day.

Of course we had to be late to Hebrew school so I could take all those pictures and then we had to have this conversation:
The Gal, "We're late to Hebrew school.
Me, "You're not late."
The Gal, "Yes we are. Look at the clock."
Me, "Oh. Yeah. You are late. But it doesn't count because it's snowing."
The gal had to limp into Hebrew school because she had sprained her thumb AND her big toe. Her foot was too swollen to fit into her shoe, but in keeping with our track record (where my boy was sent into the boy's bathroom to wash out his brain by himself), she was not given a pass and was counted absent from her next class.

While getting her x-rays we were lucky enough to hear a woman say to the nurse behind the desk, "...and then I must have gotten an x-ray, because I remember taking my pants down."

Honest to God, she really said that. I didn't even imagine it, because as we rounded the corner out of sight, the nurse that was walking with us burst out laughing right along with the gal and me.

Also, I got complimented profusely on my arm pit hair last week. That hardly ever happens to a body. Ok, I've NEVER been complemented on my arm pit hair before, ever. And so of course I felt all proud of how fine and sparse it was.

Except, I'm not sure arm pit hair complements count when they're coming from someone whose job it is to yank out the hair by the roots using hot wax. Because basically she's complementing her own work.

See? It's December. Nothing even slightly comprehensible or cohesive here. Hope everyone is adequately surviving the holiday season. And please let me know if you see my brain around. Or my make up kit. Or my boy's cell phone. Or either of my check books.


muirwoodsue said...

Love the photos of your kids smiling seeing the snow - and especially the one with your pool (still open!) with snow. Wow. How fun for them, and I would have had them be late too.
Congrats on the great armpit hair. It's those little things we can be proud of!
Have a great day!

Heather Bares said...

great pictures!!! I posted pictures from our snowfall near Lafayette, LA as well. It was a blast!!!

Lara Neves said...

Crazy that you got snow! And of course, in Texas, snow is totally an excuse for being late to anything. Or not even showing up.

Unofortunately, where I live, it is no excuse. Not even if we get 3 feet.

Anonymous said...

If we'd still had snow in the morning I was going to take the day off. Late schmate, snow in Houston calls for full on hookie!

And also, you get your armpit waxed? Are you insane?!?!? That stuff hurts.

Anonymous said...

I hate losing things! It bugs me to no end when I don't know where something is. Are you like that or do you let things go very easily?

Snow seems very fun (but I'm doing fine with my mild southern California weather).

ALF said...

Meanwhile, here I am in a place that is supposed to get snow and we have exactly none.

Jill said...

Muirwoodsue - That would be because we've never had a pool before and...ummm...I wasn't aware that they were supposed to close! Oops. And yeah, great armpit hair is the BEST, ain't it?!? :-)

Wow Heather - you get less snow than we do! Well, I've lived her 18 years and seen snow once or twice, but I know it at least snowed one year while we were out of town.

Oh! Lara - I almost didn't recognize you with your new picture! Cute! Yeah they almost canceled Hebrew school for that, dag nab it!

Kristine - I'm not so much worried about the pain of waxing as I am whether or not it's peeling off the top layer(s) of my skin each time. I figure that HAS to cause wrinkles later on in life. And who the heck needs to add wrinkledy under arms to her list of complaints in old age? That's the last thing I need I'm telling 'ya!

Derek - Well, I'm still kind of hoping one or more of my check books turns up. I'm not quite so concerned about my make up kit, except it's going to be sort of expensive to replace. I had a nail clipper, mirror, eye liner, hand lotion...just gonna add up. It was old though. Probably needed replacing.

Alf - If it's any consolation, all ours was gone by morning. :-(

Unknown said...

Your brain was in the genius bar when I last saw it :)

Anonymous said...

Perhaps posting at 4:27am has something to do with the brain fade? The real questions is whether this was late or early in the day...

Anonymous said...

and now I feel foolish when I see my own comment posted at 4:59! Right: Blogger is in CA. Where did my coffee cup go?!...

Anonymous said...

Makeup kit? I'm lost. I thought all you did was uh, chapstick? And I recall you didn't even know the name of that stuff you spread on your face to "even out skin tone" - foundation.

It's WINTER and it's SNOWING and it's HOUSTON so I'm lost again. 'specially when it comes to armpit hairs. Are you wearing tank tops and sleeveless stuff in the winter? Granted it's HOUSTON but I'm guessing that even without SNOW tank top weather is past.

I thought winter was the time of turtlenecks and tights and women could forgo the whole shaving thing for a little while - at least in the colder states.

Sorry your girl sprained herself in multiple places. Were you the same way as a kid?

Kerry McKibbins said...

Ok, I'm totally lost but I love you and your blog anyway, lol.
Happy December.
I love the snow picture with the pool in the background.

A Free Man said...

I grew up in a similar climate (north Florida) and there's nothing cooler than those extremely rare and even shorter lived snow days. Hebrew School should definitely have been cancelled!

Jill said...

SJ - Thanks! I'm glad SOMEONE'S keeping tabs on my brain. Maybe my brain and I can reunite after the holidays.

Eric - Well that's what you get for posting at 4:59 California time! Sheesh!

Ms.Q - Y'know, even as I typed that I thought I might have to answer to you for the makeup kit thing! But I just really didn't know what else to call it. I almost NEVER wear anything but lip gloss and/or lipstick and eyeliner. But I couldn't think of anything else to call it. Since I did find it (well, Razor found it under his passenger seat), here's what it has inside: travel sized deodorant, two types of hand lotion, three lip balms, one lip gloss, one lipstick, one comb, one pair of tweezers, one eyeliner, and a mirror.

As for the waxing, well...since winter only lasts three days in Houston... No really, I'm sitting around in a tank top right now it's ten o'clock at night and almost 70 degrees. Razor just asked me if I wanted him to turn on the air conditioner (I didn't). It's supposed to be in the high seventies tomorrow and then back down in the fifties on Tuesday. So...I dunno...

NO WAY was I like that as a kid! Never broke anything!

Sorry Kerry! I don't exactly aim for clarity, do I?

A Free Man - Well I thought so too! But as it turns out the guy who calls the shots (also known as the Rabbi) is from Buffalo. Ah well.

Bruce Johnson said...

Congratulations....this is the first blog I have ever read (and I have read quite a few) that mentions arm pit hair. You are the FIRST in that genre. Well Done.

Jill said...

Thanks Bruce! It occurred to me later that "underarm hair" might have sounded more attractive than "armpit hair", but I didn't realize that until it was too late. Oh well.

Maureen said...

Ah, what cute snow! It's like September up here ;)

Have you found your brain, cellphone, check books or makeup kit yet?

Unknown said...

Armpit hair? Taking pants down for X-rays? My what a December.

Jill said...

Maureen - Found the cell phone, broke the cell phone. Found the makeup kit. Brain and both checkbooks still lost...

Ricardo - Ain't it been though? :-)


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