It's Okay to Rape Your Future Step Parents Though. Apparently. | Do Try This at Home: It's Okay to Rape Your Future Step Parents Though. Apparently.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

It's Okay to Rape Your Future Step Parents Though. Apparently.

I think I have a disease. It's called: "Volunteering to ride on a bus for three and a half hours with fifty 8-12 year olds. And then spend a weekend with them. And then ride back. For three and a half MORE hours".

And each and every year when the principal asks who wants to do this, I say "ME! ME! ME!!!!"

I was told one time that you should never spend more than 20 minutes packing. So I've tried to reduce the time I spend on any given trip from a few days to a few minutes.

And whoever decided that is RIGHT! Because, as it happens, I still forget and remember in about the same ratio no matter how much time I spend on the packing.

On this trip I forgot a bath towel, BOTH my pillows, and a comb. But I remembered to bring chocolate and my Ipod, so at least I had the essentials.

Just before boarding the bus, I did find a beach blanket in my trunk. But it turns out those things are designed to REPEL water and not absorb it, so they're not much good for drying off. It made a great pillow though.

When my boy and I got back from camp, Younger gal gave gave me further updates on the whole, "honoring your parents" thing. She learned in class that you do have to honor your step parent, because when you dishonor your step parent, then you dishonor your parent.

BUT, she pointed out, that only counts AFTER the wedding. Until then, The-Guy-Who-Knows-A-Song-About-A-Chicken is not technically her step father.

It turns out that I spoke too soon about feeling much safer. She's got seven full months to rape and pillage. And so I think I might just head back up to camp until after the wedding. 'Cuz camp stuff is so much safer, apparently:

11 comments:

SJ said...

No step parents here :(
I am afraid I'll have to stick to raping complete strangers.

People in the Sun said...

Hey, they're wearing helmets ==> Safety guaranteed.

Arizaphale said...

That Bible is FULL of loopholes.
Oh and nowadays I would rather stick pins in my eyes than on a school camp of ANY sort!!!You are a brave (and obviously YOUNG) woman!!!
(and I have a few beach blankets like that too...is it velour?)

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Poor SJ, your options are so limited. :-( :-( :-(

People - What a relief!

Arizaphale - No, it's some kind of, I dunno, it almost feels like one of those recycled plastic grocery sacks. It repels water and sand and has little weights on each corner. It's very useful at the beach. Not so much for drying off though!

Loraine said...

I would go NUTS on a trip like that. NUTS I tell you.

Janet said...

I'm really confused now as to what's right and what's wrong...lol

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Loraine - I think that's why I get to go each year. :-) :-) :-)

Janet - Then I've done my job. KIDDING! :-) I think it's those darn loopholes Arizaphale mentioned...

Kristine said...

Oh! That looks like so much fun!

I have forgotten things so often that I now have a typed list I print off for packing. I tweak it for the trip in questions - but I will never go anywhere with only the shirt on my back (3 day weekend, 1 shirt), no socks (1 week), or no underwear (5 days). Dogs, but no leashes (3 days).

Bruce said...

Chocolate?.....iPod?............Your Good.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Kristine - A typed list sounds like a good idea. :-)

Bruce - Right?!? :-)

VTazdecor said...

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