Everywhere a sign, sign... | Do Try This at Home: Everywhere a sign, sign...

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Everywhere a sign, sign...

Where I go my camera goes.
And my music goes.
And my
beach ball goes.
And my multipurpose tool complete with knives and a wrench goes (yes,
even on airplanes).

Okay! So I carry a nine pound purse! Yes. I did weigh it. Well, my daughter weighed it, the better to poke fun at me.

In any case, my point is I always have a camera ready whenever wildlife shows its furry face in the city. Of course, I always get home wondering, "Why did I need a picture of a rabbit?"


These are a little better. At least I got pictures of my kids while I was at it...albeit lousy pictures of my kids. With a squirrel.

But no matter how many squirrel, rabbit, or duck pictures I discard, I still drag the camera out when some wildlife or another crosses my path.







Sign pictures are a different story. My dad often mentions the "brother in law" rule of road signs, which is the rule that says that many, many stupid signs are put up because somebody influential had a brother in law in the sign making business. Most of them really seem to say the same thing:

If you get maimed or killed or are otherwise unhappy, it's NOT our fault!

The Museum of Health and Medical Science is apparently quite the dangerous place. They needed all these signs just for ONE exhibit. They start out with a sign warning hapless museum goers that they will soon see a bunch of signs. It's nice not to have to worry about being accosted by a warning sign with no prior warning:

Definitely two of the "Don't sue us just because you're stupid!" variety:



You've got to love a sign that directly instructs people not to put a beans up their noses:



On the other hand, the sign is a tad ambiguous. It could be that they're only instructing people with allergies not to put beans up their noses. Perhaps the rest of us should feel free to shove beans up our noses as well as whatever other orifices seem practical for beans.

This is probably a really useful one as these signs go. I mean, had they not read this sign, who knows how many people were going to try and heal their open, gaping, weepy wounds with the same honey they spread on their sandwiches?

Perhaps the same people who needed this sign I saw in the park nearby. It's imposing, isn't it? One feels safe and secure knowing that the proper measures have been taken to warn us of the dangers lurking in a city park. I mean, some days the spray fountain alone is enough to strike fear in the faint of heart. So what is this danger that necessitates such a wordy sign?
Somebody saw a bat. Don't laugh! It can be quite dangerous to see a bat, apparently. When somebody saw a bat at my son's school last year, they had to send home notice. I'd like to be able to say I'm kidding, but I'm not. "Never mind weapons or the pesticides in your peanut butter sandwiches boys and girls! Just make sure you don't see a bat!"

Here's a last one from the park. If there were wildflowers growing, would a sign really be necessary?

I like sign pictures for just that reason though. They just seem to capture the absurdity of this crazy life so perfectly.

20 comments:

Lara said...

Those are definitely very funny. I think my favorite is the jelly bean one...and you're right, still not quite sure what they mean us to do with those beans...:)

toners said...

LOL! The jelly bean one made me really laugh - our DD stuck a bead up her nose when she was 3, and thankfully I was able to get it out with tweezers and without a visit to the ER - and then she did the same thing the following day!! When Easter rolled around this year, we were watching DS closely with all those jelly beans around....

Ms. Q said...

Your daughter actually weighed your purse? You must take a photo of it full and then unpacked with all its contents!

My "work purse" is heavy with PDA, cell phone, wallet, first aid stuff, toothbrush, toothpaste, blah-blah.

When I'm home I don't have to worry about carrying every darn thing so my "purse" is really one of those small backpacks. It's great! Plenty of pockets and big enough to stuff paperback, snack bar, bottle of water, camera, and sunglasses. It's probably in one of the photos on my blog somewhere but it's pretty versatile. I dislike shoulder purses - they are always getting in the way and I can't run very well with it.

I always like being able to haul-a** if need be. Don't ask me why, it's just one of those things.

Anyway, those signs ARE hilarious! Especially the sign that warns you of more signs!

DJ Kirkby said...

These were so funny, where did you find them all?!

Maureen said...

Oooh....me needs that "Wildflowers Growing" sign. That looks JUST LIKE my backyard!!! Yeah! I can tell everyone we don't mow or pull weeds 'cause it's a Preserve.

Oh, and if it came to weighing purses, my daughter would win hands down. I swear she carries bricks in that thing.

Deb said...

LMAO, how funny are these signs!
Gave me a good laugh this morning.

Jill said...

Thanks Lara & Deb!

Toners - I had a preschool year when every last child in my class seemed bound & determined to stick a pebble up his or her nose. I got one out with a fingernail. One girl got her own out with a strong nose blow. A third child's mother had to come get her, because I'm really not willing to risk much when it comes to foreign objects in the nose...

Ms.Q. - Yep, she weighed it. Good idea on the picture thing. :-) :-)

dj Kirkby - Took all those (signs and furry friends) on the same day when I went with some friends to the health museum and then to the park afterwards!

Maureen - the purse doesn't even begin to get heavy without books and water (or beer) bottles!

total-spender said...

If you're not allergic to nuts, is it safe to go ahead and stick beans up your nose?

How bizarre seeing so many strange signs in a single day.

Note to self: I really should start taking my camera out with me when I leave the house.

Jill said...

TS - That's what ***I*** take it to mean! Always good to have a camera. And, since you're a teacher, a beach ball also comes in quite handy.

Irisi said...

The University of Michigan dormatories have wonderful signs.. Some of my favorites:

"Please remember to flush!"
"If you plug it, please alert a maitenence person!"
(they'd have all these silly little ryhmes on the insides of the bathroom doors..)

And my absolute favorite, an actual plaque stamped with the University motif, in the boy's shower (I saw photo, not in person):

"Please do not masturbate in the shower. The pipes are not intended for semen. Semen related repairs run into the thousands every semester. Please masturbate in the bathroom stalls or your rooms."

Drunk Mummy said...

I think your Dad is on to something here, with his 'brother-in-law' theory of sign-makers.
It looks like becoming an increasingly prosperous industry. Buy sign-making shares!

melissa said...

wow 9 pounds!-sounds like my moms purse, lol ;)

and that jelly bean sign is too funny, cant believe you saw all those signs in one day!

Jill said...

Too funny Irisi! Odd though...I mean surely that much shampoo and liquid soap goes down the pipes...how much different could the consistency be? Or maybe the shampoo and soap are more slippery...

Drunk Mummy - yeah maybe that's the way to go... :-)

Melissa - Well, all the yellow ones were at the same museum, but I do stop and read an awful lot of signs...

total-spender said...

Jill

Having just stuck beans up my nose, I can assure you (and your readers) that whether you have an allergy to nuts or not, it's not sensible to do it.

That said, I'm not willing to comment on the masturbation and blocked pipes theory being touted on these very pages.

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

That museum sounds very dangerous indeed.

I too carry my camera everywhere, which is how I was able to document the Jesus-themed signage at the carwash that one time!

Jill said...

TS - Yeah could you tell that to my preschoolers now?!?!? Oh no wait I forgot - ****You**** should go nowhere near my preschoolers. :-0 :-0 :-0 Kidding!!!! Sort of... :-) :-) :-)

CGG - Exactly!!!!!! You just never know when you're going to run across Jesus themed car wash signs and you don't want to miss out for lack of a camera...

Ricardo said...

The wildflowers sign does seem to be a bit of a waste. There are so many signs that after a bit yo kind of tune them out. At least I do.

Chopski said...

I think I should get a job writing signs. It seems like people will use just about anything!
Made me smile when I read the instructions on our little 'uns new bath product. It said SAFE and NON TOXIC. They do a product that is unsafe and toxic??

Sue McGettigan said...

LOL - love the signs!! I have silly signs at my blog too, love spotting them around the place :)

Melliferous Pants said...

What good are jelly beans if you can't put 'em up your nose?!

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