Summertime and the living is… | Do Try This at Home: Summertime and the living is…

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Summertime and the living is…

Summertime and the living is delicious! Especially when your freezer looks like this:

Well worth an extra sit-up or two...
Since I’ve already given detailed instructions on how not to pack, how not to plan a night out, and how not to heal a body pierce, I thought I’d offer an example of how not to make homemade ice cream. Instructions as follows:
Put favorite ice cream recipe in your pocket at 9:00 at night on the way out the door, hoping to get to a grocery store before 7:00 am.
Drop ice cream recipe somewhere in friend’s vehicle. Forget about making ice cream the next morning.
Get ice cream recipe back. Check for pantry for rock salt.
Choose a day when neither child has slept more than six hours. Make sure a friend who declares himself willing to EAT homemade ice cream, but not particularly interested in helping to make it is visiting.
Spend half an hour looking for shoes said friend is certain he wore to our house. Have him wear a pair of my son’s shoes instead. Find out only later that he did not bring shoes with him over to play.
Get into multiple arguments with pre-teen on whether or not she should be required to walk to the store or anywhere else that day.
In a stellar moment of parenting also known as reverse, reverse, reverse psychology demand that she stay home, as if it were some kind of treat to walk a half block in 90+ degree weather.
Buy $15 worth of ingredients (Okay! So I bought organic...) to make approximately the same quantity of factory ice cream one could have bought for $3.00.
Take a quick glance at ice cream recipe only to be reminded that the batter has to sit in the fridge for two hours before being frozen, meaning the friend will not even be here for the results of his walk.
Pull out the ice cream maker to discover the drum or “vessel” is missing. This might be where normal people and I part ways…then again it might have been much earlier in the instructions...
Call ice cream maker company to see if drum is available for purchase. Call ex-husband to see if ice cream drum is still exactly where it was over a year ago. Collect drum from ex-husband.
Mix the batter between two doctor visits, a museum visit, gymnastics, and hand stamping father’s day cards.
Turn the ice cream the following day, managing to spread freshly frozen ice cream over, among other things, the following surfaces:
A cast iron pan
The CD player
The microwave
A stud finder (stored inside the ice cream maker on the off chance that I might find myself awash in whipping cream and pictures that needed hanging at the exact same moment)
The phone (why does it always ring when both hands are occupied?)
My insurance card
Tear apart kitchen looking for lids and containers that match (here I think I reunite with normal people). Fill containers and make the freezer an incredibly happy place!
A few people have requested this ice cream recipe in the past because I claim it’s good even though the eggs are cooked. So here it is, salmonella free ice cream, coming soon to a freezer near you, but hopefully with less hassles.

Salmonella Free Homemade Ice Cream

2 ¼ Cups Sugar
¼ Cup plus 2 T Flour
½ t salt
5 Cups milk
4 eggs, beaten
4 Cups whipping cream
2 T vanilla extract

Combine sugar, flour and salt in saucepan. Gradually stir in milk. Cook over medium heat approximately 15 minutes or until thickened, stirring constantly. Gradually stir about 1 cup hot mixture into the beaten eggs. Add egg mixture to remaining hot mixture, stirring constantly. Cook 1 minute; remove from heat. Refrigerate 2 hours. Combine whipping cream and vanilla in large bowl; add chilled mixture, stirring. (Here I added 25 Newman-oh cookies and all the leftover candy we had in the house). Freeze according to ice cream maker instructions.

25 comments:

jp said...

Yum! That sounds totally delicious. I've made homemade ice cream but have never seen this kind of recipe! I'm still curious as to why you store your stud finder with the ice cream making stuff. I love that! :-)

Maureen said...

Oooh....sounds delish and entertaining all at once; perhaps some Irish Cream over the ice cream would be in store after a day like that. (Um, for you. Not the kids).

total-spender said...

Jill

Many thanks for sharing your ice cream recipe.

However, I personally feel that the real 'dessert' is to be found in your writing - this post being (yet again) another rib tickler - as opposed to the recipe per se (I'm not doubting for one moment that it's not delicious).

Whatever. You've inspired me. Having seen your freezer, I thought I would show you a picture of mine (and I promise you that what you're about to see is the genuine thing):

total-freezing

Whatever. Your blog has become a daily addiction (and I thank you for it).

I must also thank you for breathing new life into my humble site. I think you know this already, but I'll say it again just in case you don't: looking forward to your next post (in the interim I'll get my fix by reading the subsequent comments from your regular readers).

Thanks again, Jill.

TS.

Theresa said...

That is too funny! Sounds like the world I live in. Am going to copy your recipe so I can lose it too. Thanks for the chuckle.

Urban Thought said...

That was a lot of stuff right there. I miss making ice cream. Something we would do back in day care...

I don't remember it being as eventful though.

Drunk Mummy said...

I like the sound of the last bit, where you add anything you had leftover in the house!
I think your stash of ice cream would last me at least two days - maybe more if the kids were back at school!

Jill said...

Janet - I have no idea *why* the stud finder was in the ice cream maker. I only am certain that it will have a home there for a good, while now, because once I know where to find something, I try to let it live there for as long as possible... :-)

Maureen - that does sound yummy!

TS - Your freezer is noticably lacking in alcohol & your fridge looks desperate for beer. Other than that, TOTALLY not surprised!

Theresa - hope you can get some use out of the recipe & thanks!

Urban Thought - I've thought of making ice cream in school too. Intended to, actually. However, my methods don't work quite as well when being followed by 13 three and four year olds instead of just a couple elementary & middle school aged kids...

Drunk Mummy - Yeah, couple days sounds right...it's just about health food after all...all that calcium!

Heather said...

Ha, ha, ha.... and a bunch more ha-ha's! Loved your post. The picture is great. And if the ice cream had been made in my house it would have been over just as many surfaces and required a ton of dishes!

DJ Kirkby said...

This is the funniest post I have read all week! Sorry for laughing at your stress but you wrote so vividly it was like watching a movie...erm...perhaps I too have now parted company with 'normal' people...watching a movie indeed...must make note to self to phone doctor...

Jill said...

Thanks on both Heather!

And DJ Kirkby - Don't worry about parting company...those "normal people" are no fun anyway!! KIDDING! I know some perfectly nice "normal people"... :-) :-) :-)

Debbi said...

I remember the last time I made ice cream. Way back when you had to use a hand crank to make the drum turn. Rock salt and I THINK it was dry ice. It took forever and numerous people had to take turns cranking it. It was soooo good.

Jill said...

Debbi - It's funny because I remember cranking *forever* and *ever* and *ever* on those hand crank ice cream makers. But now I realize there's no way it could have been more than a half hour!

Noelia said...

I had a good laugh reading your post. I have one of those ice cream makers somewhere in my kitchen but I will be re-thinking about using it this summer... perhaps I could...do you know of a frozen yogourt recipe? ;)

Irisi said...

mmmmmmm....

I am allowed ice cream tommorow. You're making me look forward to it very very very much...


mmmmm...

I need an ice cream maker.

Ingrid said...

have you seen the ice cream making balls (okay...some of that sounds very wrong...) that you fill and roll around for a while (apparently this would be a job for the easily amused or someone doing a lot of ecstacy) and it's done? They're 30 bucks online.

JohnB said...

hello jill! thanks for stopping by my site. your post here made my cough go all spazy from all the laughing...now if you'll excuse me, i'll go grab some liquid refreshment...:)

Saradevil said...

Okay, you make icecream. I thought icecream just kind of fell out of heaven in chocolate flavor. But you actually make it. That is nutty.

Or maybe I just feel that way because my freezer is only big enough to hold one ice cube tray.

Although I do give you props for inventing a new flavor of ice cream: Stud Flavored. Mmmmmm good.

Jill said...

Noelia...Frozen YOGURT?!?!? No way! If you're gonna splurge I mean... :-) :-) :-)

Irisi - Hope you're having a great big giant bowl right this moment & that it's soothing & just right!!!!!! I think I'd better not bring you any of mine though. The leftover candy and the stud finder might not go down as well as your poor throat might require right about now. :-(

Ingrid...Ice cream making balls...hmmm...no can't say I've seen those...I have visions of those little contraptions people use to let their hamsters and gerbils roam though...

Johnb - I'd offer you ice cream but...there's that little thing with the leftover candy & the stud finder that might exaggerate the coughs instead of calm them...

Saradevil - I love it when ice cream falls from the sky!!! :-) :-) :-)

melissa said...

you always manage to make me lol :) I hope the results are super tasty after all that 'work'..especially having to call your ex-husband for the drum. ;)

btw I finally added you to my 'favorite blogger' list on my blog, hope you dont mind

Lara said...

Well, it looks totally yummy to me. I am just not motivated enough to make ice cream, although my SIL just bought an ice cream maker at a yard sale. Maybe I'll help her and see what I think.

Jill said...

Thanks on both Melissa! I was *really* surprised to get the drum back...

Lara - For me the great thing about making ice cream is that I only think about doing it in the summer and during the year in between I forget what a hassle it is...

total-spender said...

Jill

I'm stocking my fridge at the time of writing as a matter of urgency !!! (And yes, Totally embarrassing lack of beer inside).

Mom of 3 said...

YUMMM!!! All that stuff in the freezer is homemade icecream? Lucky you! (and I'm sure it's well worth the effort and $34 for organic ingredients) Enjoy!

Mom of 3 said...

duh..only $15 for the ingredients.oops!

Bastet said...

I scream we all scream YUMMERS! for ice cream. I will be trying that recipe out. Sounds like making it is a lot of fun too. ;)

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