Would be Cross Section of a Purse | Do Try This at Home: Would be Cross Section of a Purse

Monday, July 23, 2007

Would be Cross Section of a Purse

My friend Beth said that apparently no one ever sat me down as a young adult and told me what contents actually belong in a purse. All I know is, whenever I need pliers I always have a set. Sometimes I even have a full size screwdriver. And yes, I admit to keeping a hammer and a pair of socks in my purse occasionally.

During the school year, my purse can get a little out of control, because I put throw in whatever I happen to be carting back and forth to school. But I took this picture during the bare-bones season, though a few of the smaller items escaped the picture. Not only do I throw in less stuff indiscriminately during summer break, I actually clean the thing out now and again. The big day for purse cleaning is Friday at the bowling alley. Another mom does sewing, Beth sips coffee, we all chat.

Apparently we're known as "the wild group". I'm not sure why because we make at least a halfhearted attempt at prohibiting the kids from activities that will necessitate a visit to the emergency room, and the only person drinking is Beth and that's only coffee.

We were pondering how we could have acquired this misnomer awhile back as I pointed out to one mom that her son (who is taller than me, outweighs me, and whose shoes are too big for me) was crawling across a table. Meanwhile, I tidied up the following items in my purse:

  1. Camera – yeah, well…you can’t see that part ‘cause I’m using it to take the picture
  2. Wallet
  3. Nail kit that looks like a flip flop shoe
  4. Checkbook
  5. Eyeglasses case – the eyeglasses aren’t actually in there. Anyone seen them?
  6. Part of a magnifying glass
  7. Five contact lens cases - one with an actual spare pair of contacts
  8. Part of a toy jeep
  9. Top to a bottle of sprinkles/jimmies - the whole bottle used to be in there until Jared & Beth's son Max ate some and didn’t screw the lid back on tight enough. Now I get to add sprinkles/jimmies to the list of things spilled into my purse, which already included ice cream.
  10. Keys
  11. Four dreidels - this might possibly be too many during midsummer, but you never can tell
  12. Toy truck
  13. Bathroom kit
  14. All purpose tool - Very useful. The screwdrivers aren't the best, but you never know when the pliers or knives will come in handy on an airplane.
  15. Cell phone
  16. Package of pin backs – I guess they’re not going to want those on an airplane either
  17. Gum
  18. Two small plastic ice cream taster spoons - I picked these up either for my classroom or my kids last spring, but they turned out to be too small for preschool and my daughter wasn’t particularly interested. I think it was Beth that suggested that I give them to the next cokehead I run across
  19. Tictacs
  20. Newman’s Own organic mints all natural mints– they're gross by the way, but they don’t have any ingredients I can’t pronounce & those tins are really useful
  21. CDs
  22. Chocolate bar – had I bought this myself it would have been dark chocolate, but I'm not particularly choosy when chocolate just happens into my purse
  23. Ipod, ipod ear things
  24. Thing to plug ipod into a car cigarette lighter
  25. Mirror
  26. Sunglasses – I usually have three pair in there, but I left one at a friend’s house and I think the other pair is...somewhere
  27. Hand lotion
  28. Beach ball – I believe I’ve explained that this one is essential. Very handy, normally deflated.
  29. Gift certificates
  30. Two books (though sometimes it's one or three, or maybe a magazine)
  31. Planner/calendar
  32. Various bottle caps and beer labels - collected for the collages in the post below
  33. Bowling passes
  34. Hair tie
  35. Purse notebook
  36. Sharpie marker
  37. A picture hanger
  38. A screw - I'm sure this goes to something, if I could only remember what...
  39. and two pens...because you never know when you might need to write in the car.
Sure there can be drawbacks to carting around so much stuff, but I'll say this for my purse: just when I thought I was going to have to toss all my lotions and lip glosses at the airport yesterday, it turned out I ALSO had a clear ziplock bag in the depths. Suddenly, just by virtue of my having enveloped them in a clear plastic bag, my otherwise incredibly dangerous liquids were neutralized and allowed onto the airplane.

So you see, it's six of one half a dozen of the other. And the Boy Scouts DID miss out when they refused to let me join in '79...well, I'm prepared for something at least...


Anonymous said...

Wow! That's what I'd call a 'survival kit' as opposed to a purse!

However, having seen the contents of your freezer (fully stocked), it comes as no surprise now I think about it.

Having seen how I choose to live my life (my fridge-freezer being a case in point), can you envisage how the contents of my wallet might look.....?

Anonymous said...

You normally have a lot more than that and usually it is the oddest things anyone would imagine would be put into a purse. It never ceases to amaze me the things you pull out of that bottomless bag! I think you need to do this again later in the year when the purse is more representative of it's normal (or abnormal) contents!

Anonymous said...

Oh I forgot to mention, I noticed you had no music in there? The lack of a CD or three or ten indicates this is not the normal purse we all know and love! you must have cleaned it out thoroughly for that airplane trip!

Disa said...

dear god, you must spend a lot of money at the chiropractor or getting massages...that sounds like a recipe for backache. perhaps you could invest in one of those wheelie bags the air hosties tote around? or do you abide by the law of the gold fish, and only expand to the space you have available? it looks like you could give mary poppins a run for her money on what you tote around in there!

Lynn said...

Wow! Now thats what I call a purse full! I didn't think that much stuff could fit in one purse. Where's the kitchen sink? Mine is empty compared to yours. I have to start to stock mine up.

Jill said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jill said...

TS - That's bec. you have yet to see the contents of my fridge. Let's see if it works any better the 75th time...
Fridge - take 75

Your wallet...let's see...a maxed out credit card or two...the phone numbers of a couple/few unsuspecting either gorgeous or plain Korean women...
Picture? :-)

Beth - Don't worry! That blue CD case has them doubled up & there's 227 songs on the ipod. That's all it would fit...am I doing something wrong?

Disa - Y'know...,my mom was trying to blame my purse for my back woes last weekend. But I like to blame my brother's couch. :-)

Lynn - You definitely should start stocking up ***now***!!! You just never know when the top to a bottle of sprinkles is going to come in handy!

jillconyers said...

wow...that's a lot of purse stuff lol fun post!

Darcey said...

You have to post a pic of your purse, it must be huge!!

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

And I thought I had tons of stuff in my purse!

But yours is almost indicative of mine - there are similarities there!!

Stacey said...

WOW! Now, that's a purse! Or is it really a duffle bag??? ha ha! Great post!

Maureen said...

Ask your daughter if she can get you Hermoine's bag from Book 7 (when she's finished it).

I think you could use it....

Colleen said...

OK, I just want to know if it's a suitcase or a purse you've got?! That's quite the survival kit you've got going, but I think I'd want you around in almost any situation!

This is calling to be made into a layout!

Anonymous said...


You really are a benevolent blogger.

Your enthusiasm in itself is worthy of a GOLD medal (the fridge effort qualifies you for a silver medal by default).

I've said it before but I'll say it again: THANKS SO MUCH.

(fridge 'take x75' is priceless)...

Rachael said...

So, how big is this purse?

Love your contents, very well prepared!

Jill said...

Jill - Thanks. :-)

Darcey, Stacey, Colleen, Rachael - it's about the same size as one of those little laptop briefcase things. Well, it starts that size but expands at the sides depending on what I've got in there. Not tote bag sized, but certainly no dainty little thing. :-)

cgg - So then you're well aware that you could need a full size screwdriver at any given moment... :-0 I actually have more in there now...a water bottle & a hardcover seem to be taking up more than their fair share of room.

Maureen - I am SO hoping she even gets that thing!!!! Thanks for reminding me to check on it - amazon says it's delivered, so I guess as long as it finds its way from the camp office to her paws...

TS - Whatever the thanks is for, totally welcome & thanks too! :-)

Anonymous said...

4 dreidels? Yow. All the same kind or made out of different materials?

Thanks for sharing and I see how you gave me the credit for the idea. ;-)

Since you're a mom and teacher, it does make sense that you have so much stuff in your bag. But you seem to have backups of everything - sunglasses, books, contact lenses cases. I'm a bit surprised you don't have the spare uh, "feminine hygiene product" in there!

Is all that stuff just dumped in there are is your purse compartmentalized? I would think you'd have some type of purse insert (google on "purse insert" and see all the listings!) to make things easier.

I'm surprised at the lack of any first aid items - no Bandaids? No wipes, no Purell? No SUNSCREEN? hehehe. No Chapstick?

I hate the "black hole" purse - where you're digging around for everything. My travel purse is ugly and I keep search for the "ultimate travel purse". I use this particular purse which is black ripstop with a BRIGHT ORANGE interior and pockets every which way. I can't figure out who it is made by.

Anyway, since the interior is bright orange, I can find everything. I can't carry as much as you but my bag has a lot of things in it if I were to break it down.

When I have to lug around as much as you, I carry a backpack. With lots of pockets. Oh, and when I went overseas my carry one was a backpack and inside the backpack I had everything in pockets and/or ziploc bags. I'm telling ya, ziploc bags...very cool.

Hey, do you use the tiny ones for your scrapbooking?

Thanks for sharing what's "in the bag" - now share the bag! (so demands this reader!)

Jill said...

Three of the dreidels are plastic. The other one is nicer. I think I have that one in there because it's easier to see the letters. That being so important mid-July.

I have a couple compartments. I'm pretty compulsive about making certain the wrench, the ipod, the phone & the camera are all in the respective places. Other than that, it's kind of a free for all.

The "feminine products"...well, I sometimes keep them in there,Only to be waved around by security guards
usually they end up pretty tattered though, so instead I keep them in the bathroom, where they are eaten by my cats Either way, there's just no safe place for feminine products these days.

Yeah, I've been thinking I should carry some bandaids. But every time I go to throw some in, I remember I don't actually own any...

Sunscreen I sometimes carry, sometimes not. I do own some though!

Tiny ones what? I reread but am still confused...probably I don't though, since I've only made one scrapbook page this entire year. :-0

Anonymous said...

oh, tiny ziploc bags. If I hadn't made a new paragraph, it might have been more obvious. I've seen those little ziploc versions used for beads (I've done jewelry) and in hardware stores. I've also heard the are used for stuff sold on corners in bad parts of town but I have no personal experience with that.

Janet said...

Good grief! I'm dumbfounded!! jp

Brown English Muffin said...

"Suddenly, just by virtue of my having enveloped them in a clear plastic bag, my otherwise incredibly dangerous liquids were neutralized and allowed onto the airplane." this is hilarious...so my question now is...how much does your purse weigh with all this stuff in it?


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