If you're in the market for a new method of being rejected, I highly recommend texting. It's every bit as instant as a phone call, but you don't get interrupted as long as you don't have a lot to say.
Along with texting, I also learned some great new phrases. Whether or not any of them actually apply to my most recent go round is up for debate, but here they are regardless:
Each time I describe some heartache or another, my brother claims to hold up an imaginary sign reading, "Dump him!" Recently he discovered new lettering:
"DTMFA" or Dump the Mother F* AlreadyI'm not a big fan of acronyms, but this one in particular, to quote Mary Poppins, "helps the medicine go down".
Here are two from my good friend Ms.Q. She's not sure if she wrote this first one or assimilated it. Let's just call it hers:
Some people have dealt with their shit and some people smell of it.Other people blog about potty training, but that's beside the point.
I don't think of people as trash and neither does Ms.Q. I like to think of people as having inherent worth despite their circumstances, occupations or much else for that matter. I've enjoyed the friendship of two people convicted of manslaughter, and both of them have been every bit as kind and compassionate as the average teacher or soccer mom, for whatever that's worth. Still, this saying Ms.Q. learned from a friend made me smile:
Kick him to the curb...just kick him to the curb! Move on. You've got better things to do than think about the trash on the side of the road.I saw this saying on a dating blog. I'm not sure about the second half of each sentence. But I could perhaps buy the first half of each, in as much as I ever believe sweeping generalizations about humans:
Men look for sex and find love.This is not a saying I learned, but it seemed funny at the time. In general I'm against rigid gender roles, but for reasons which could be a post all it's own, I truly believe the male should do all the calling. I think I may have been engaged before I initiated a phone call to my ex-husband. I found myself defending my position without explaining it:
Women look for love and find sex.
"It's NOT a 'policy'"Let's call spade a spade for cryin' out loud! Then again, spade calling didn't actually work out so well for me this time.
"It is. It's your policy not to call men."
"No it's not! It's not a policy!"
"It is. It's a policy."
"It's not a policy! It's a defense mechanism!"
This was a saying Jeff learned from a friend that seems to sum up quite a bit:
It isn't about finding a sane partner. It's about finding one whose crazy matches your own.Which, y'know is great for me because I tend not to pay too much attention to the fine line that distinguishes "normal" from "boring".
Now, is there one of those cute blog awards for quoting Mary Poppins and using Mother F* in the same paragraph? Oh wait...you probably have to be willing to spell it out to win that award.