Fruits, Nuts and Dates (or lack thereof) | Do Try This at Home: Fruits, Nuts and Dates (or lack thereof)

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Fruits, Nuts and Dates (or lack thereof)

I surprised my friend Melissa last summer (and myself) by saying this to her:
...and that's why the phone message I might have left you may or may not have been intentionally vague.
Once her laughter subsided, Melissa told me that they should slap that right on my tombstone since I practically defined my personality (if not my very existence) by using those words sequenced just so.

Due to that conversation and a couple others, I decided that maybe I should take the word "straightforward" off my dating profile. Who do I think I'm kidding? Half the time
I can't even figure out my point.

I've changed my response on the perfect first date question from, "Is this a trick question?" to:
Is this a trick question? Just in case: the perfect first date includes alcohol. I don't see any reason (recovering alcoholics and teetotalers notwithstanding) that either person should have to endure undue anxiety.

I can see the potential suitors lining up even as I type! "Here's a gal who knows how to self medicate in a socially acceptable manner! She's the one for me by golly!" Yep.

I almost want to change the "I am looking for" section (which gives options like a date, marriage, a long term relationship, etc.) to include "activity partner." I mentioned to Ms.Q that my friends would most likely be deliriously happy if I quit trying to drag them to see live music and instead found an "activity partner."

They'd probably be equally as happy if I found someone to eat outside with me now and then. I'm sure my friends are tired of explaining to me each and every time we eat somewhere with outdoor tables that they don't actually like to sweat. I have to admit I don't see what the big deal is about sweating. It's not like getting a tattoo; it comes off in the shower. Sweat seems like a small price to pay for getting to be outside, but what do I know.

In any case, I'm not adding "activity partner" to my list of requests at the moment (Edited to add: especially after being informed via the comment section that the term could have other connotations!!). I doubt I have it in me to distinguish between guys who would answer "yes" if I wanted to go rollerblading and guys who want to date. It seems like an unnecessary hassle and too much emotional upheaval to make the distinction.

Then again, it might offer an easy out, as in "Would you like to not enjoy this activity with me again sometime?"

***Pictures and Stuff***

Who needs an "activity partner" when you have kids, anyway? I don't know whether it's just the venue or what, but both times we've seen Michael Fracasso, (who's awesome by the way, if you like acoustic/folk type stuff) people were determined to throw money at my boy. This time Christi gave him two dollars for eating three limes in one minute:


Here's a picture for Roger. It's the middle of the day with almost no traffic, so you can't tell that the tractor is meandering along one of the larger boulevards in Houston. It's sort of a crooked shot, because I was trying to drive and roll down the window and operate the camera all at the same time, but the clouds still look neat:


And last but not least, this one is for Frogger:




17 comments:

Bastet said...

A friend of mine always has an activity partner...she usually drags him on vacation, to movies, shopping and everything else...and then when it comes time for a date, she leaves him at home. The term can be interpreted many ways, might seem confusing...probably good you didn't put it up. ;)

John C said...

I had an 'activity partner' once. I had to continuously beat her ego back when I wouldn't give in to anything more than platonic.

Actually, I think I was a bad boy in how I teased her about it. :shrugs: What are friends for if you can't torment them when their hormones moan?

jp said...

Activity partner? Not familiar with that, and I'm married! Sounds like a term they might use in assisted living facilities. Watch out, Jill!

Jill said...

YIKE!!!!!!!!! I can't figure out how I've been divorced for a full year now and still manage to be totally naive every now and again!!!!!!!! I had no idea that category meant anything more than "someone who would say 'sure' if you wanted to go, say, canoing". Seriously, I had no idea it could have even slightly sinister connotations. :-0 :-0 :-0

I am soooooooooo glad I waited this long to try the whole online dating thing. I would have been a total babe in the woods if I had signed up right when people first told me I should try it!

It's Not Easy Being Green said...

Yeah, I have to admit, without your explanation of what you meant by activity partner, my mind went there. Love the line about first dates involve alcohol!

Jill said...

Ok, well, I changed around a word or two to increase the innocence factor of what I THOUGHT I was saying!! At least I'm hoping I did... 'Cause I seriously doubt my mom and dad (for instance) read into the comments to find out what had never occurred to me...then again, maybe their minds wouldn't have "gone there." :-0 :-0 :-0

Lynn said...

Great post! I love your first line about your first date. I think it should include alcohol also and I've been married for almost 25 years. Now that I think about it... that just might be how I ended up with my husband.
Love the photo of your son. What a heartbreaker he is going to be! You better watch that one.

disa said...

yes, someone who doesnt mind atteniding weddings/couples showers/couples baaby showers, and anything most men cant stand to be dragged to. perhaps it can be subdivided into "knight ona horse" category- the guy who loves to be called to help fix the computer/mow the lawn/ wash the car. sounds like they really need to put more open ended options on the profile q'airre.

the frogster said...

Today I was like, "I gotta go visit Jill's place." And I did and found this. Ah, love. The funny thing about that cartoon is that I once emailed Vic Lee and slammed him for "stealing" a Calvin and Hobbes idea. He wrote back and said that it was originally a Lil' Abner idea and that cartoonists, like all other artists, publish variations on a theme al the time. His note back to me was so kind and thoughful that I wrote back and apologized for being such a jerk, and we've emailed back and forth a few times since. I'm a big fan of his. Oops- I have to go- my wife wants to get in the closet and I'm supposed to stay 8 1/2 feet away.

Ms. Q said...

I agree with you about "activity partner" - if you want to date, just stick with that. You can use, what "MySpace" or maybe Google or Yahoo groups or even Craigs List to find activity partners. If I were doing that I'd look for that specific group (wine tasting, library groupie, public restroom photographer..) what with the possible connotations of the generic "activity partner".

Actually, a friend suggested Craigs List for dates. Eeee. Not for meeeeee! More like Hookup Central.

Re: Sweating. I'm not much into sitting out in the sun feeling hot and when it comes to sweating...I only like it when I'm doing an activity. Not when I'm just...sitting there. Based on what you've hinted, I would think your profile would get lots of responses! I am sure it it funny and you ARE attractive. There's also the alcohol thing.

While I know that "activity partner" might be construed as something "sinister" (sexual) if it were on a reputable dating site, I would try to look at it at face value. Then again, the dating sites I've seen don't have that particular category. Usually a guy might mention in his profile that he wasn't opposed to just finding more friend to do things with like hiking and things.

John C said...

Sinister doesn't have to mean sexual, even if the partner thinks that.

Sinister can also mean creepitus control freak friend junk. Set your boundaries, be up front without having to wave them.

Snerts and trolls usually go off to find happy hunting grounds, both online and in real life when they don't get what they really want.

By the way Jill, if you need to practice saying 'No' to someone putting the virtual moves on you, I'm always available for roleplay in IMs. rotflmao. j/k.

Roger said...

Jill Jill sorry I am late and that is a cool shot of that tractor I think it looks good :D and the clouds very nice! Thanks for the shout!

Jill said...

Thanks Lynn! I think he's kind'a cute!

Disa - Really? There are guys like that? I need to arrange for one to move in nearby I think...

Frogster - Guess that whole "nothing new under the sun" thing goes for the comics...so neat about writing the guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Ms.Q - It's still in the 90s here in early October. I'm not sure how anyone can expect to live here and *totally* avoid sweating...I don't have to worry about the whole hiking thing though, apparently, because we're flat as a pancake here - sea level all around.

John C & Ms.Q - Sinister vs. sexual - yeah a year into divorce I actually realize the distinction now! Did take me a phone call or two crying to my brother though to figure it out (who said things like, "You need to stop calling him a pervert." :-) I just thought "sinister" seemed like a funnier word & fit with the whole business of being warned off. :-) :-) :-) "I'm always available for roleplay in IMs. rotflmao. j/k." I'm somewhat convinced we've established that you're married. So, y'know, as *****infinitely****** entertaining as that sounds, I'm going to have to go with "Totally out of bounds!" :-) :-) :-) How's that? :-) :-) :-) Actually I haven't yet learned IM (although having learned texting I'm thinking that will be next!). :-) :-) :-)

Roger - You're just on time & thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)

Jill said...

Oops, and that "apparently" was supposed to be an "unfortunately"...it's late and I'm tired, but I still like hiking! :-)

Beth said...

I think the solution to your "activity partner" dilemma, just so you are not misunderstood and yet to ensure you have a partner to attend all those activities, is most certainly, no question about it, a gay man. Gay men make the BEST friends for these things, the perfect answer for you. Just my opinion!

Jill said...

JOHN C - Another "oops" (I'm TOO TIRED to be on the internet, apparently AND unfortunately)...that should have read "How's that for setting boundaries?" instead of just "How's that?" :-) ;-) :-) Can still make those smilies though!

Beth - Yeah, so far I have struck out on that count as far as the acoustic/folk thing goes...and they only LIVE a block or two away from the venue!!!!! Although I have to say that they've come through on plenty of other occasions.

Rising Rainbow said...

Ya, I can see where "activity partner" could be misinterpreted. And probably the kind who would is not someone you would want to spend time with.

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