But he was really NICE psycho... | Do Try This at Home: But he was really NICE psycho...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

But he was really NICE psycho...

Today was a little more exciting than your average Tuesday. I woke up this morning to a dead computer. Seeing as how my watch, my DVD player, my phone, and my CD player have all bit the dust over the past month, it really came as no surprise. Luckily it turns out that I'm a genius.

Okay, I'm not a genius. It just happens that I listen to my dad now and again and dad always says when something doesn't work, take it apart and put it back together again. Didn't work for my DVD player, or my CD player, or my watch (mostly 'cause I didn't try, I'm guessing), or my phone. It did, however, work on my computer.

It's Chick-Fil-A night again and my children were handcuffed. Yes, Cassie wanted to make good and sure that those handcuffs we discussed last week really did fit small wrists. Unfortunately I hadn't unpacked my camera from the whole camp thing and these lousy pictures are from my cell phone. And you thought fast food wasn't any fun!
"I don't think I can pick up the garbage with these handcuffs on."

(We actually pick up all our garbage at the Chick-Fil-A whether we're handcuffed or not. I just never had the chance to put Arlo Guthrie's words in my kids' mouths before and figured I may as well strike while the iron is hot.)


Only Beth would think to ask whether or not their noses itched and threaten to tickle them while they were handcuffed. If you read my friend Beth's blog, you may already know that my friend Beth's son Max is afraid of clowns. Tonight Beth terrorized her son by requesting that Honey Dew the clown enter the men's room. Poor Max. He was convinced that only men were allowed in there.


As if I needed a perfect ending for tonight, as well as a reminder that my bravado is mostly bluster, a nice psycho happened by just as I was typing this. I heard a knock at my door. Figuring it's my friend Terry, who I'm delinquent in calling, I pulled on my jeans and went to the door shouting, "Who is it?"

I looked through the peephole at a blond stranger. I mentioned I like to talk to strangers, but not at ten at night when I'm half dressed. Three quarters dressed maybe, but not half. KIDDING! I like to be fully dressed when I talk to strangers and I like it to happen in public during the DAYTIME!!!! Plus, it's sort of a given that a question such as "Who is it?" would elicit a response, otherwise why bother talking at all?

It turns out that I had dropped my keys in favor of chasing Sugar, my cat, during his escape as we returned from the Chick-Fil-A. I asked who it was several more times. The nice-key-returning-psycho never answered, but did say I had dropped my keys and waved them in front of the peephole. For once I managed to take my own advice and instead of opening the door just asked him to leave the keys, which he hung on the door knocker.

Sensing my obvious distraction, Sugar made yet another escape when I opened the door to collect the keys. I managed to catch him without encountering the nice key-returning-pyscho, and aside from a little excess adrenaline, the kids and I are fine.

Sugar, however, I'm planning on serving up for Thanksgiving dinner.

23 comments:

Christine said...

Yes, such a nice psycho that he didn't use your keys to enter your house...

Jill said...

Christine - NO KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am TOTALLY going to serve that cat up for Thanksgiving...and then look into some ADD/ADHD medication for myself...

KIDDING! Sort of.

Sarah C. said...

LOL Sounds like a wild night! One of my two cats loves to bolt out the front door at any given opportunity so I feel your pain.

~Sarah

Patter Cross said...

Wow, what a day! And I don't even answer my door at 8 p.m. when people knock! I am so bad! I would be scared at 10 p.m. for sure.

clayton said...

I din't realize I was so photogenic. Maby next week I will bring a Tazer and a straightjacket with me.

Your friendly Chick-Fil-A Cop.

Curly Glamour Girlie said...

I find it uproarious that Cassie needed to test the handcuffs to see if they indeed would fit her.

Derek Wong said...

Haha I've had a salesman try to pull that on me. He came to the door, rang the doorbell, and when I asked what was up he whispered and pretended that he couldn't be heard through the glass next to the door. I knew that was false so I just kept asking him to speak up until he did. Suffice to say he did not make a sale.

I'm glad that you didn't open up that door!

I've never been handcuffed, I wonder what it feels like. Probably pretty close to what I'd imagine.

ALF said...

My favorite part of all of this is that the Chick-fil-A cop reads and leaves comments on your blog. That is most excellent.

Bastet said...

You did have the officer un-cuff the kids, right? ;)

Ms. Q said...

that IS cool that the Chick-Fil-A cop (hahaha!) left a comment and based on his "profile" he signed up just so's he could leave a comment.

It's police officers (I am never sure if "cops" is less respectful but I think even cops refer to themselves as cops) like him that always makes me believe that cops ARE the good guys and that the media ain't gonna show them being helpful because that is boring.

Anyway, it's fun that we're in synch when it comes to this talking with strangers thing!

Handcuffs don't sound like fun to me! I have tiny wrists but no desire to be restrained! I read or heard that cops also use those plastic ties - I think they are called "cable ties" - I'm sure you've seen them. Anyway, if they have to restrain a whole passel (?) of Miscreants, it's not like they have a bushel of handcuffs. So they use these plastic ties.

So I heard.

Your cats are adorable. They are also cats. So cats like to drive you nuts. But they also love you when you need love.

So I heard.

I'm allergic.

Glad the stranger didn't let himself in. I just got an extra deadbolt installed. Geeks like redundant systems. Although I've never had a redundant boyfriend.

Hmmmm.

Beth said...

Oooh, can we use the straightjacket on Max and then have Honeydew kiss his cheek? I think next week is going to be lots and lots of fun... (hee hee hee).

Lara said...

You can't be too careful I suppose. But I'm glad he was a nice enough psycho to actually return the keys...although, he could've gotten one made first...yep. You can't be too careful.

Roger said...

Jill are you ever going to put me on your side link "sob"

Roger said...

Oh shit I meant "Saab" "sniff" "cry" whoops :D

fracas said...

I clicked to comment in order to say what lara said, so obviously I agree with her.

Seriously.. he knew which house to return dropped keys back to? Do you have your address on the chain or did he see you drop them and follow you home?

Either way, he knows where you live and could have another key like lara said. (Notice how I'm blaming lara just in case... lol)

I'd get the lock re-keyed if there's any question he had the keys with enough time to get a copy made. Re-keying is cheaper than a new lock.

Beth said...

Hey Clayton, based on all these paranoid comments, perhaps your professional opinion would be appreciated here? I personally think it was simply a kind neighbor who wanted to do a nice thing and that Jill does not need to go to the expense of re-keying her door nor should she be worrying too much about this whole incident.

Matt-Man said...

Let me know if Sugar tastes like chicken. Cheers!!

Ingrid said...

Oh my GOSH!! Those pictures are hillarious! What a cool police officer to play with the kiddos like that!

Jill said...

Sarah C - I'm glad someone understands! Wanna serve up your cat for a side dish then????????????? KIDDING! I do love that ridiculous excuse for a hairball...

Patter Cross - Yeah, not really so fun at ten...

Clayton - Aren't you though?!?!?!? Did you like how I blurred your face a little? Almost didn't need it since the picture quality was so lousy, but I figured there's was some chance it wouldn't be the greatest career move to have your pic posted on a blog that discusses the pros and cons of dating a coke head...Oh & see my response to Beth on the straitjacket!!!!!!!!!!!!

Curly Glamor girlie - Yeah, she comes by it natural I'm pretty sure! :-)

Derek - Never been handcuffed either, but I gather from my kids' reaction that it's a whole lotta fun until Beth starts asking if your nose itches!

Alf - I thought that was most excellent myself!

Bastet - Yeah, I sort'a had to eventually...school and all...sigh...KIDDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, right away! :-) :-) :-)

Ms.Q. - Yeah, my very oldest friend in Houston has been married to a police officer for...I dunno, over 15 years now, probably closer to 20 & he's a great guy. I think, y'know, that they're probably like the rest of us humans - doing the best they can in this crazy life, some of them doing better than others more of the time...I don't see much media I guess so I don't see too very much of the other side. Yeah, I have one of those C clamp things on my door & I think NOW I will even be able to remember to use it! At least, it only took me twice of leaving the oven on all day to remember to start turning that thing off. I think one stray psycho is enough to get me using that C clamp thing though!!!!!!!!11

Beth - YOU'RE EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Besides, I think ***I'm*** the one that needs the straitjacket, don't you think? I mean honestly...Okay, B. might have gotten some points toward the honors with that clamato or tomato juice thing, but I think in general...well...we can take turns. :-) :-) :-) BTW, I just found out Max's phobia is called coulrophobia, just in case you wanted to know.

Lara & Fracas - I hadn't even thought of that! So far so good though. I actually only waited like a moment or two after he left to collect the keys. I was telling my friend who said, "Yeah, 'cause he couldn't have ducked around the corner or anything..."

Roger - I gotta do that!!!!!!!!!!! That stupid thing went out of date almost the moment I posted it up there. I was pretty sure it was going to be more trouble than it was worth, but for whatever reason, I put it up there anyway...next I want to figure out how to put those category things. Maybe over Thanksgiving I can work on it some. :-)

Matt man - Fur, feathers...I'm sure it's all very similar... :-) :-) :-)

Ingrid - Yeah, I think you gotta be more or less okay with kids to be able to spend even 20 minutes in the Chick Fil A... He's a good sport though, huh?!???????

DJ Kirkby said...

Yes...best serve up Sugar before she gets you served up to a Psycho...how scary. Good point of Christine's though...

Roger said...

Thanks Jill your a doll! Good weekend to you! :D

clayton said...

Jill-Thanks for thinking about blurring out my face. Its not necessary though. As far as dating a coke head we all have made dating mestakes. I once found an ex-girlfriend doing a line of coke in my bathroom. She didnt understand why I brokeup with her.

Beth-As far as the paranoid comments go you are probably right that he was just being a good neighbor. But you can never be too carefull. Most apartments will re-key locks for free or a small fee. The thing to think of here is how long was he in possission of the keys, and did he have time to make a coppy.

Jill said...

DJ Kirkby - Yeah, I was supposed to bring butternut squash to thanksgiving dinner, but I'm thinking furball will be just as tasty!!! :-) :-) :-) Sugar is a boy fur ball btw! :-) :-) :-)

Roger - YOU TOO! :-)

Clayton - OK, I won't worry about blurring when you bring the tazer & straitjacket!!!!!!!!!!!

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