Google-y Eyed | Do Try This at Home: Google-y Eyed

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Google-y Eyed

The internet is great for the overly curious and for those curious about the overly curious. When I stalk my stalkers to see how they got to this site, I find a fair number of people reached this site by searching "skwood". And that's great, because I'm trying to turn it into a household word!

I still get about two searches a day for motorized ride on beer coolers. Unfortunately, those people just like READING about motorized coolers and don't particularly want to buy one, so my beer cooler selling friend changed careers.

I get a lot for lesson plans and other teacher stuff. I sort of doubt I'm much help.

I haven't been getting near the searches for body piercings lately. So, in order to amend that, let me just say: navel pierce, belly button ring, body jewelry, and piercing studio!


Just in case I landed anyone with that one, let me dole out the only advice I have: No matter how many people tell you to use only soap and water on a new body pierce, I say "Put sunscreen on that baby!" And stay off the roller blades for at least a week or two.

Here are a few of the google searches I thought odd, interesting, funny, or some combination thereof:

Balding toothpaste (Actually, if your toothpaste had hair to begin with, I’d be worried already.)

Should i call the man i'm dating (I think I’ve stated my opinion pretty clearly on this one as a “no”.)

Scabies preschool teacher (None for me, thanks!)

I get quite a few for this one:
Dating a cokehead (Since these people seemed to have missed it: Don’t do it!)

dating for six months and no call (In the words of my brother, “If the dude’s not calling, the dude’s not calling.”)

how to compose my own dj jingles (What does that even mean?!?!? I’ve stalked a lot of DJs in my day & I don't remember any of them coming complete with jingles…maybe one has to listen to commercial radio to understand.)

"lick the toilet" (Way more people than I ever realized are curious about toilet licking. Who’d’a thunk?)

a professional word for poop (I would like to suggest “bowel movement.”)

traumatized washing machine (I’d like to know more about this myself.)

My semi-normal life (I might be able to help there. My life seems almost semi-normal at times…)

great naked stories (When you find out, let us know, would’j’a?)

And finally, one where I can actually be of use:

"nicest bathroom award"
I categorized them all under "bar bathrooms", because I didn't really understand the tagging system at the time. But here, here, and here are my awards.

And if you choose to seek them out, have a great time performing bodily functions in a clean location!

14 comments:

Lara said...

These are really good. Google searches are always good for a good laugh.

My friend got one to her blog the other day: "Chastity super glue" I don't even want to know what they were looking for. :)

Derek Wong said...

I like your google keywords! They're much more fun than the ones that I've been getting lately anyways.

Figuring out what people are searching for is a pretty amusing activity, and it's always good for some laughs.

Did blogger change their form or did you change something with the comments? I usually try to leave my name and my website rather than using my Google identity. However...that doesn't seem available.

People in the Sun said...

I came here initially with the search for "Toilet licking. If it makes me happy, can it be bad?"

delmer said...

Try to work Granny Gallery into a post. I have a place on my blog that shows my mother's (we call her Granny) paintings. Mine may be the only Granny Gallery on the Internet that is not mature-woman porn ... I imagine a good number of people arrive at my site only to be disappointed.

(Wait, I imagine I disappoint almost everybody each and every day.)

disa said...

oh my. now my self absorbed, narcissistic, neurotic self is thinking of what key words would pop up for me...oh wait...

Bastet said...

"Bowel movement" just doesn't get the same reaction as "poop." ;)

My biggest keyword was "hand sanitizer." go figure!

CircesMagic said...

You are too funny!! Love the new page, oh and the cats ear is great!

DJ Kirkby said...

I am too scared to check my keyword activity! Love the new look of your blog.

Roger said...

Toilet licking I would have never of thought of that lol! But I will go & see! Hope your havening a fandammtastic weekend! :D

Ms. Q said...

Mine aren't nearly so interesting.

People seem to find their way to my blog via image searches. Crocs, ugly shoes and Energizer Bunny. "Musturbate" is a biggie (my guess is these are misspellings),

The MyBlogLog Stats show: "lonely people", and "do guys like hot girls"

Derek: Seems like Blogger disabled the ability to leave an URL unless you're a Google/Blogger member.

I don't have either so...oh, well. Which is too bad as I like finding new blogs but it seems like G/B doesn't want us to find any other blogs but theirs.

ALF said...

I totally want to stalk my stalkers!

Christine said...

Lately, I use "skwood" a lot, myself. Makes me feel less like I'm cursing.

DJ Kirkby said...

Lick the toilet? Yipes!

Jill said...

Lara - Yeah...probably best not to know on that one!

Derek - I dunno...seems like Ms.Q does though. :-( :-( :-(

People - I had a feeling that was how you found the place! Do they taste like chicken? :-) :-) :-)

Delmer - I'm going to have to recommend you spend a little more time over at Ms.Q's blog because of that last comment!!!! :-) :-) :-)

Disa - Well let us know, would'j'a?!?!?!

Bastet - But so much more professional!

Thanks Circesmagic!!!!!!!!!

DJ Kirkby - C'mon be brave girl!!!! We wanna know!!!!!!!!!!!
:-) :-) :-)

Roger - LMK would you? I hear it's all the rage...

Ms.Q - Bummer on the log in. :-( :-( :-( I need to get that blog log thing on there I guess. I've only ever been able to see the google searches, but not the image searches. I have a lot of them, but don't know how to tell what they searched.

Alf - You SHOULD! It's fun!!!!

Christine - Thanks! I appreciate every last use of the word... :-) :-) :-)

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