Parenting 101 | Do Try This at Home: Parenting 101

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Parenting 101

So the guy who's been partially responsible for my recent scarcity in the blogging world insists that my kids respect my authority. It's true that every now and then I do have a flash of parenting brilliance.

Tonight at the Chick-fil-A, for instance, my friend Beth notices Cassie using a cup of Sprite to beat a coffee stirrer into a pulp. "Cassie," she warns, "you're going to splatter that everywhere!" "Yeah," I chime in with a wave of my hand for emphasis toward the back of the restaurant, "If you're going to do that, go do it closer to the policeman."

I hear chuckling and glance up to find that the place had cleared out enough for the policeman in question to have heard me. He says the splatter wouldn't bother him a bit because, "I have handcuffs that fit small wrists." 


Uh huh. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Moments later, Beth is encouraging her son Jake to stuff his mouth full of crackers in order to make the recital of tongue twisters more amuzing. "Chew!" she orders, thrusting a second cracker in his general direction, "Chew!" Jake resists, claiming that "Polly doesn't want a cracker." 


"She's just saying to chew," I point out, "She didn't say swallow. After you chew it, you can spit it wherever you want."

I glance up, and once again the nice police officer has definitely heard our superior parenting in action. I tell him, "We're raising fine, upstanding citizens here, in case you're wondering." "I stopped wondering about you guys a long time ago," he tells us. 


He actually leaves his chair to inform us that, "You guys are the reason I still have a job here." Yep. That would be us. Every Tuesday, whether Chick-Fil-A needs us or not.

Here are my sweeties on Halloween ready to devil worship or practice polytheism or something:



I was SO proud of Cassie, who made her entire toga costume by herself using a bed sheet, some leaves she found outside, a few ribbons, and hot glue. My sole contribution to the project was to refuse to drive her a block away to borrow a safety pin. 


Did I mention I'm raising self reliant, fine upstanding citizens?

17 comments:

Beth said...

Definite blog fodder! it was a blast tonight, always nice to laugh that much now and then!

Christine said...

Cassie's costume is impressive.

Your son, however, is dressed the same as at least one of my sons, every Halloween. In a past life, my 3rd son must have really felt comfortable in a burqa.

EquineSpirit said...

LOL! GREAT entry! Love the costumes too...Cassie did a great job!

kim said...

you're raising some cute kids too!

self reliant! now why didnt i think of that ??

Ms. Q said...

That policeman sounds funny! Your parenting skills are par excellent! My parents rarely took me to fast food. That was a treat.

Cassie's costume looks fantastic and yow, she's a heartbreaker! I know your son is one as well but it's hard to see that in the photo...

Your parenting stories almost kinda-sorta makes me wish I had children. Think about all that I could pass on and they could totally ignore....

ALF said...

Christine's blog directed me here, Hi, Christine!

Anyway, love the story about Chick-fil-A!

Aimeslee said...

Well, go ahead and feel comfortable now, in about 5-7 years......

{winkwink}
Aimeslee from 2peas

Lara said...

LOL, at the chic-fil-a episode, especially at the Policeman's comments!

Love the self reliant costumes. They did a great job. :)

Bastet said...

Love Cassie's costume, nicely done!

I love the comment about spitting the crackers out...LOL.

jp said...

Great post, Jill! I think your Chick-Fil-A nights sound just fabulous. I just recently learned that it's pronounced Fil-AY...I had been saying it Chick-Filla. I am that much of a moron!! jp

disa said...

im waiting to read a blog about the guy who has been getting in the way of you blogging...

Roger said...

Hahaha stop messing with the cops Jill :D

Ingrid said...

She did a GREAT job on her costume! I'm all about raising self reliant kids too. My son always asks me to make dinner and get him to school and I tell him he needs to do these things himself so he can be truly self reliant. I mean, he's six years old! Time to grow up a little!


(kidding, kidding, just in case that police man is now stalking your blog)

Christine said...

Hi, Alf! It's a party at Jill's blog! Wooo! All the cool people are here!

Jill said...

Beth - SO fun, right? If Chick Fil A ever gets their liquor license we're going to be in BIG TROUBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! (KIDDING!!!!)

Christine - Yeah, I think the main advantage to that costume was that all I had to do was say "Yes" when he wanted to know if he could buy those skeleton glove things w/his own money! And thanks for throwing a party over here...mi casa es su casa & the tequila's in the freezer & all that... :-)

Thanks Sabrina, Kim, Alf, Lara, Bastet!

Ms.Q - Yeah, eating Chick Fil A once a week is ***BAD***. But we meet up with Beth (from comment above) & some other friends, there's a place for the kids to play...it's a perfect set up really. And at least the chicken actually looks like chicken...

Aimeslee - Yeah, I hear it all falls apart in a little while here! :-(

jp - I don't see why there'd be any reason to know unless you ate there!

Disa - Yeah, I'll have to get to that one, although I discuss him pretty thoroughly on Ms.Q's blog. :-) :-) :-)

Roger - But messing with the cops is so FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And this one's so good natured... :-)

Funny Ingrid!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, the policeman usually is working on his computer in there, so maybe he moonlights as an internet stalker...

ALF said...

JP, don't feel bad! My mom once called it "Chick-a-fil". When we told her to take a closer look at the sign, she realized why we were laughing at her.

Arizaphale said...

You are a woman after my own heart.

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