Another potential disaster not averted

Look! Sister bought me a new toy, and mama installed it this morning. So now I have something else to play with in the kitchen!

It's called a safety device and it's made by Safety First. Mama closes it up and then I get to yank if off, just like this:

What?!?!?! It's supposed to keep me OUT of the dishwasher and away from the glass and sharp knives and food processor blades? Oh come on! When will these people ever learn?!?!?

I mean seriously! Just save your energy for keeping me from falling into the pool and messing with the electrical outlets would you?!?!?

(Update - evidently it's not exactly clear from my original post whether or not baby defeated the safety device in question. The translucent strap that she is messing with in the first and second pictures was supposed to stay locked in between the two oval shapes visible at the top and bottom of the strap in the third picture, preventing her from opening the dishwasher. This was a clear win on her part, since she opens the dishwasher with ease even if it's locked.)

It's Like Living in a Luxurious Hotel!

I used to have an elderly aunt who would declare (when speaking of the more or less okay skilled nursing institution where she lived):

"It's like living in a luxurious hotel!"

It was endearing and I wondered at the power of her rose colored glasses, although I've come to realize she might simply have meant, "I don't have to cook or clean."

You know what's REALLY like living at a luxurious hotel? Spending a couple of days in a luxury hotel.

And also? When you find out you have to fly halfway across the country on barely a moment's notice with a wheelchair bound 91 year old and a two month old infant, spend not quite 48 hours there, then return with the wheelchair bound 91 year old and SICK infant, a luxurious hotel is an incredibly awesome boobie prize.

It's impossible to describe the beauty of the La Jolla/San Diego area. Unfortunately, the only scenery picture I took doesn't quite capture it:

There were pelicans and dolphins and seals basking within easy reach of a camera. I only managed a photo of a piece of notebook paper someone shoved in a paper box. I don't know why.

Oh...except for that 91 year old and infant thing. I would have loved two free hands to put on the camera. Or even one, really. But here's baby in the courtyard of the luxurious hotel:

Just to update from my previous post: Yes. I WAS asked if she was a girl or a boy while she was wearing this cute pink and yellow ruffly blouse. But NOT while she was also wearing the hat.

I've also been asked if she was a girl or a boy while she was wearing this outfit. Notice she's in pink from head to toe:

So maybe she just has a cross dresser look about her. In any case, that's been our week - surprise travel and much gratitude both for luxurious hotels and for being back home.

I Always Forget How Long a Day is When You're Awake All 24 Hours of it

In case you haven't met her elsewhere on the internets, here's our baby:





ALL babies were born to be held. And cuddled. You can tell, because they can't walk or get anywhere by themselves.



Our baby makes CERTAIN people know she should be held, preferably at ALL TIMES.

She even came equipped with a handy dandy siren that goes off lest anyone forget this inalienable right.



Often the siren misfires, and goes off when she IS being held:



It starts out all, "I'm angry!! I'm angry!! I'm SO VERY ANGRY!!!!!!!!!!"

If response is inadequate it changes to the sound of a forlorn chipmunk wailing, "SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!! I'm OUT OF CONTROL!!"



She doesn't always look capable of that much ruckus, but she is.



Especially between midnight and five o'clock am. Because, when I told her we were morning people, I neglected to tell her that "morning" is between five am and noon. NOT from midnight to four am.



Once she's satisfied that the people around her remember that no part of her body should ever touch anything that is not 98.5 degrees and distinctly human unless she is thoroughly passed out (and preferably swaddled), she's much happier.



At least for a few moments until she remembers someone is supposed to be holding her.

When her siren ISN'T going off, whimpers, satisfied sighs, , squeaks, gulps, gasps, hiccups, communications of general malaise and/or content, noisy gulps, mild protests of who the heck knows what, and of course warm ups to full crying are her constant companions.



More or less if she's awake, she's making noise. And if she's asleep, she's probably still making at least a little noise.

Just Waiting Around for a Baby So I Can Get Even Less Sleep Than I do Now. Which is Like...None.

I can't really explain my absence besides being a really poor excuse for a pregnant person. I've sat down to post many times but instead succumbed to sheer exhaustion. Please excuse the little pictures of flowers in this post. For some reason, blogger is no longer letting me space paragraphs the way I want to and I'm tired of trying to figure out why not.

Anyway, since I'm hardly going anywhere except home and work, I haven't seen so many signs.

They did open a foot message place though:

And so that's probably nice for people with icky feet to have a special place to go. Or maybe they just say "Ew" to all feet in general. Who knows?

And remember this place with the helpful visual aid about the end of time and all the required math that goes with it?

It turns out they're having an "End Time Revival"!

Which just begs all kinds of questions like..."Is it really the end if it can be revived? Doesn't that make it not the end?" And maybe even more importantly, "Do you still have to do all that math?"

Meanwhile the new-baby-to-be has spent the past five days getting a few more things off her in-womb check off list. Such as, she's been in a THIRD car accident (someone backed into The-Guy-Who-Knows-A-Song-About-A-Chicken's car) and been in another carbon monoxide evacuation. Baby should be making an appearance around here sometime between now and a month from now, but hopefully closer to now.

It's Been So Long Since I've Posted That I Forgot to Make a Title!

I apparently wasn't so chatty in the month of February. Sorry blog world. I did see a few things worth posting, but somehow I didn't get around to taking an actual picture.

I did take a few pictures of the Sweet Pea though. Don't even ask why they're all different sizes. I'm sure there was a method to my madness that I can't remember.




She's not quite as bitter and resentful as she looks. She just decided she doesn't like how her smile turns out in pictures.

Actually, in that hoody sweatshirt one she kind of WAS bitter and resentful. But only because I asked her to take a picture in the rain. Drizzle really.

In other news, I'm getting near 6 months pregnant. Everyone keeps telling me I look so tiny. I wish they'd inform my veins and lower extremities. And in fact, if they could send an email to the scale in my doctor's office, I'd appreciate that too.

That's about it! Hope to post sooner next time.

Why one cat inspires profound life lessons while the other is content with a little affection & provoking the occasional murderous rage is beyond me

I've been feeling so much better and puking seldom enough that it came as a complete surprise to me that I could test out our new toilet flusher The-Guy put in. We can flush our toilet the way they do in Israel, with either a half or a whole flush. We've only had it two days, so I'm still watching each flush to make sure everything disappears.

On that happy note, I'm here to tell you that you can save water by flushing puke on the low flush.

In other news, I read a book about a blind cat named Homer who provides all kinds of inspiration to his owner (and most everyone he meets) and even chases off a burglar who invades their home while his owner is sleeping.
(picture from: Trial by Sapphire blog)

Homer the cat is really a LOT like my cat Sugar Tov. For example, Sugar ALSO howls (and throws his body against the door to "knock") at three o'clock in the morning when he feels he has been unjustly exiled from the bedroom.

Just like Homer, Sugar loves playing guitar:


And Sugar ALSO feels the need to greet every guest, even answering the door to make sure they feel welcome. Of course, he might bite a guest's face off unprovoked at any moment during the visit, but he is quite solicitous and welcoming right up until the second he turns on the unsuspecting guest.


Sugar did not go through all the trials and tribulations that Homer did. But he went through a hurricane. And look how valiantly he guarded the mattresses!


Plus, he's extremely pious:




All in all, I'm not really sure why Homer inspires lessons about love and life, while Sugar mostly inspires murderous rage in addition to a little affection here and there. It must be human error.
SaveSave

It won't ALL be morning sickness and puking and sleep deprivation and poopy diapers. Sometimes we'll get to dress her like a chicken.

If you can't admire Houston for the cockroaches, horrendous traffic, kajillion degree weather, and occasional hurricane, there's always the weather. We pretty much had all four seasons in three days last week.

In addition to flooding that wiped out any chance of driving anywhere near my school, there was frost, not to mention weather in the 70s. Some people were stuck in their cars for hours and hours. My kids' school was closed, but it didn't make much difference because the water was too high at my school to leave, and even if I could have, all my classroom kids were stuck inside because their parents couldn't come in to get them.

Here's a picture someone from work took:


It usually looks more like this:


The bridge the white van is trying to go over in the top picture is over the bayou, which is way, way deeper than the little drainage ditch or slough or whatever it is the close bridge goes over.

Here's a picture my sweet pea took a little farther down the bayou once we were able to leave our respective schools:



And looking a little more normal a few days later:


Here are some random conversations from last week (well, one from the week before) -

Me, answering The-Guy, who had been surprised that I had already been thinking about costumes for next Halloween for our yet unborn daughter:

"It won't All be morning sickness and puking and sleep deprivation and poopy diapers. Sometimes we'll get to dress her like a chicken."

(picture from Girl in Air blog)

My boy, after I expressed wonderment over his suddenly curly hair:

"It's not curly! It just wants to be closer to the sky..."

Me, to my mother, bemoaning the fact that we had missed Cid's garage sale:

"Maybe somebody else that we know will have a baby girl right before we do and dress her really cute and then suddenly sell everything they own so they can go live on a boat."

A conversation between me and the Sweet Pea last week:

Me - "The internet isn't broken! I turned it off. Remember? I said I was going to turn it off until you guys cleaned your rooms?"
Her - "Oh. Yeah, I remember now. But I didn't think you'd do it." (pause)
Her - "I didn't think you knew how."

To be perfectly honest, my boy did help me get the internet back on. But I do know how to turn it off! For cryin' out loud...

Happy Martin Luther King day and hope you're having a short work week!

Happy People Run From Anger

In 2011 we went both camping (in September) and my mom and dad's (just last month) without a single emergency room visit! We've had at least one, if not two emergency room visits for years running on both those outings. So I'm going to go ahead and call 2011 a pretty great year.

By this time next week, I'll be halfway done being pregnant. That and modern medicine haven't managed to totally stop the nausea though, so my dad suggested naming the baby, "I'm Not Throwing Up Anymore."

But since we found out she's a girl, I think we're going to go with something a little more feminine.

I found out that happy people run from anger:

And here I thought they were just jogging! But I guess they have to get all those endorphins somewhere, after all.

Last but not least, happy new year all! To help celebrate, here's my brother making the champagne tower in this year's silly hat:
Happy New Year all!

I'm FINE! But still, I think two car accidents by the second trimester of pregnancy is really more than enough

Even though I'm only a few months along here, I've already been in two car accidents (one minor, the other quite possibly requiring a new car). In addition, I've already been kind enough to expose this new baby to fifth's disease, more varieties of the common cold than you can shake a stick at, ringworm, at least two different stomach viruses, and evacuation from a building because of the carbon monoxide levels. It's been fun so far.

As for the old babies, my boy turns 14 today! Here he is back when a slice of pizza was as big as his head:

And on his first birthday:


In totally unrelated news, I haven't really gotten too many sign pictures. Despite the fact that I haven't posted forever, I only have this one measly little sign. It's the Kumon guy.


Kumon is a tutoring place and apparently they do so much homework that the poor little logo guy can't even manage to smile. But at least they don't try and trick the kids into thinking they're going to have fun while they learn.

So happy birthday to my boy & hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season so far!

I'm Hoping to Miss the Next Puke-A-Thon

I've heard that some people enjoy being pregnant. I've even heard that pregnant people "glow". Not me. I just puke.

In fact, I'm so good at the getting sick part that The-Guy mentioned we needed more words for the different types of vomit, kind of like Eskimos are supposed to have all those different kinds of words for snow.

Luckily (with the help of medication) I think I'm starting to get over the constant vomit part. I'm even starting to be able to brush my teeth without puking.

I've even managed to snap a couple of pictures. Here's an advertisement for an apartment complex near the Houston Galleria:
So in other words, "Live here if your mama taught you wrong."

And speaking of teaching right and wrong, here's a daycare where you can send your kids if you want them to go to Harvard, but don't want then to learn to spell:

So that's it for now. Hope everyone is having a good week!

I'm Trying to Make a New Person Out of Anti-Nausea Medication and Frozen Pizza

I'm trying to make a new person out of anti-nausea medication and frozen pizza. So, if you've been wondering why I've been slow to post, it's because I've been too busy throwing up.

This looks like a gray lump, but it's actually a baby picture:

I figured out that the less something looks like actual food, the more likely I am to be able to keep it down. In fact, there were a couple days there when I was relying on Ramen noodles as my sole source of nutrition.


But then it occurred to me, whatever is in the anti-nausea medication couldn't possibly be any worse for the baby than whatever is in that flavor packet that goes into the Ramen noodles.

So I started consistently taking the anti-nausea medication and now I've been able to expand my menu to include frozen pizza.

That's why it's been quiet around here...I've seen good signs, but been too tired and/or sick to lift my camera out of my purse. But I'm starting to feel like I might actually survive, so hopefully I'll be back into posting.

Hope everyone had a good week!