Please excuse my absence from Blogsville this week. I've been trying to figure out how to sell my soul to the devil so I can afford to send my kids to a private religious school. How do you do that anyway, just put it up on Ebay or something?
I'm KIDDING!!!!!! I mean, I'm sure my soul has some flaws and stuff, just like anyone's, but I'm more or less fond of it and don't have any immediate plans to put it up for sale. I do really want my kids to go to religious school though.
Also, LOOK! They sent me an STD!!!!!Ok, they sent me some medication via standard delivery. Still, I bet whoever designed this label had a good laugh.
And I saw a warning on the bottom of this guy, Thomas, who my boy used to call Tommit:I know, you can't actually read it. It says, "CAUTION: Entanglement possible. Keep away from hair."
Really?!?!?!? Entanglement?!?!?! That's the best they could do? Not, "CAUTION: Choking possible. Do not remove wheels." Or, "CAUTION: Intestinal tearing possible. Do not swallow magnet." I mean honestly, hair entanglement doesn't even involve dismemberment, much less death.
At any rate, the warning is too hard to read way down there at the bottom. The Older Gal didn't even see it. It should have been written right across poor ole' Tommit's face.
Because when I showed The Older Gal the warning she admitted she had been using Tommit to brush the cat. I'd have hated to be around if that caused any entanglement. After all, any entangling of my bipolar cat might actually cause death.
Now that I think about it, it takes a mighty brave person to try brushing my cat with ANYTHING. Maybe HER soul would get a better price than mine on ebay. After all, it's for a good cause. Besides who's to say the devil would get the highest bid?
I'm KIDDING!!!!!! But I might need to go put one of those evil eye bracelets or something on me and the older gal now. Also if you wouldn't mind spitting in our general direction over here as you read, I think that would help keep the devil away too.
Just, y'know, try and aim away from your computer keyboard. Thanks!