The-Guy-Who-Knows-A-Song-About-A-Chicken and I went to New Orleans and so I am in HEAVEN on Bourbon Street. Because I'm always in heaven in the French Quarter. It's the law. And plus, how can ANYONE not be in heaven in a place where dressing up as a fire hydrant is an acceptable career choice?
Look, here's a New Orleans fire hydrant:And here's me with a guy whose job it is to dress up like a fire hydrant and stand on the street:So I'm all happy because I'm in the French Quarter, breathing the French Quarter air. But my jeans aren't happy. Because I wore flip flops and so the bottoms of my jeans were all dragging in the muck and spilt beer and pee and stuff on the street and getting all brown and disgusting. And now I'm pretty sure they at least have syphilis. Or maybe Herpes.
But that's okay, because I made up a greeting card just for them. To make up for it, because I was having such a wonderful time while they were getting diseased. You know those cards that say, "When I count my blessings, I count you twice."?
Well, my new greeting card would say, "When I count my blessings, I count not having herpes twice." And I really do. Because that would suck. Although that particular greeting might not work for my jeans, because they probably already GOT herpes from being dragged along Bourbon Street.
Here's the interesting thing I found out today: All those drunks on Bourbon Street aren't really alcoholics. They're only drinking in order to forget all their gambling woes.
It's true! I've been seeing these signs EVERYWHERE, all over New Orleans:This one's on the door of a pub, no less.And so you see, obviously gambling is the serious problem in the French Quarter, not drinking.
I'm going to post in a timely manner, so that I can encourage anyone planning a trip to New Orleans to wear more appropriate shoes than I chose, thus helping prevent the spread of herpes among blue jeans.
This computer doesn't seem to have spell check though, and also it's one in the morning. So appologies in advance for any typos, mistakes, or ill advised mentionings of STDs.
Fire hydrant photo