You Can Totally Sin on the Way to Home Depot and Not Even Worry About It | Do Try This at Home: You Can Totally Sin on the Way to Home Depot and Not Even Worry About It

Thursday, March 18, 2010

You Can Totally Sin on the Way to Home Depot and Not Even Worry About It

I learned a great place NEVER to keep your extra boxes of contact lenses: an empty Q-tip box.

Yes, it might SEEM the perfect size. And it's cheap, even as plastic containers go. But let me speak from experience: its a very bad idea.

"Why?" The-Guy-Who-Knows-A-Song-About-A-Chicken wanted to know. Why did I keep my extra boxes of contact lenses in an empty Q-tip box?

Why? Because that's just where I kept them. But not anymore. I dunno. I mean, why do you throw away a seemingly empty box of Q-tips when I leave it in the middle of the bathroom floor? Because he's neater than me (and cleaner than me) in general.

And how, exactly, do I express my (very, very true) appreciation for my man's neater-and-cleaner-than-me tendencies? I keep him company at the Home Depot, of course.

I've always been scared of those warehouse type of stores, especially if their parking lot is much bigger than the entire town where I grew up. But I've been discovering Home Depot's redeeming qualities.

Like, who the heck knew they named the shelving units?

This shelving unit, for instance, appears to be named Calvin.And look at this cool thermostat! If you buy it, your children get to eat popcorn! Or wear white! Or something... I mean, they're adorable and all, but what exactly DO popcorn eating children have to do with a thermostat?Anyway, Home Depot's a fun place. And if you accidentally sin on your way there, you can stop here:Thank you! It's good to know I have somewhere to go in case I'm rejected by the wholesome popcorn eating children of Home Depot.

8 comments:

People in the Sun said...

It's OK, Home Depot intimidates me too. And that's a pretty big place for sinners. Luckily, with the new school curriculum in Texas, there will be fewer of them around!

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

People - You know, I'll bet you're right!!! Because, seriously, someone told me on Tuesday that as part of the whole thing they're disallowing cow udders in text books. I'm not sure if they're going to photoshop out the udders or whether they're only going to show cows from the waist up.

Either way, I'm sure once all those impressionable school children are no longer exposed to such indecency, not only will they gain class time otherwise lost to daydreaming about cow udders, but the entire generation will grow up less perverted in general.

Tracy said...

Hahaha Sinners are welcome.
Maybe this is a Sinners Pick up joint. Too funny.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Tracy - Yeah! In fact, I'm about fresh out of sinners here and was about to put them on my shopping list...
:-) :-) :-)

SJ said...

Good to see a place where I would be welcome!

Lara said...

I am very happy about the place for sinners. It's comforting to know that some people still welcome us.

Jill/Twipply Skwood said...

Ain't it though SJ?!? Since California kicked you out so they could have an earthquake in peace...

Lara - Right?!?! :-)

John C said...

I wonder if non-sinners are welcome there. Can they sit and 'pass' on offering their sinful experiences?

Bet the thermostat could have been marketed better if they had a kid with a crayon drawing lines to it on the wall display. :)

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