Motorized Coolers, Dancin' Naked, I don't actually have a great title for this one | Do Try This at Home: Motorized Coolers, Dancin' Naked, I don't actually have a great title for this one

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Motorized Coolers, Dancin' Naked, I don't actually have a great title for this one

A friend (whom I've referred to as "coach" in the past) moved in across the courtyard from me a week ago. Thus far he's been good natured about being blog fodder, even when I've gone so far as to discuss his homophobia or lack thereof. For whatever it's worth, his level of homophobia doesn't seem excessive, though it may just be that I'm oblivious.

My point is, I'm relatively certain that he won't mind reading about himself again, as long as I don't post a picture of him riding a motorized-ride-on-beer cooler. I will post a picture of MYSELF on a motorized-ride-on-beer cooler though, since you asked:


OK! I know no one asked! But in general when I make statements like that, someone asks. The smiling yet slightly nervous guy in the background is Martin, the owner of the cooler. I can't imagine why he looked nervous, aside from the fact that he kept informing me that the cooler did, in fact, have brakes...I guess 13 miles an hour could seem speedy when a total stranger is racing away aboard your livelihood.

In any case, it turns out that when I look out my window, coach's window is in my direct line of sight. Because I don't know the first thing about wireless internet, I spend arguably too much time between my bed and the wall with my feet propped up against said window. It is an odd feeling to be on the phone with someone who can witness your eccentricities as you discuss them.

Another friend said that it would be cool to have him for a neighbor, that coach is "really nice". But, she informed me, I would have to be careful about dancing naked in my room. Which is a serious bummer, 'cause if a gal can't dance naked in the privacy of her own room, where the heck can she?!?!?

DON'T ANSWER THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't actually want to know anyone's thoughts on appropriate locations for dancing nakey...it was bad enough just finding out that "activity partner" may not mean exactly what I thought it meant!

That said, me and Denise do all our best dance moves before seven a.m. And just for the record, I am TOTALLY dressed! Denise on the other hand...

I actually don't have anything to worry about. Coach spends all of seventeen seconds a week not at work. Just kidding all you crazy stalkers out there! He actually spends the majority of his time polishing his gun collection while gazing out his back window!

18 comments:

DJ Kirkby said...

Coach sounds like an interesting neighbour! So do you!

Tina said...

OMG! This was just too funny! I'm sure dancing naked could be liberating? Though I haven't tried it myself :)

John C said...

Having a problem with visualizing this one. Need pics. Please help.

Please. Pics of you dancing with clothes on will help. My mind will do the rest.

Ms. Q said...

Did Martin make the motorized beer cooler? If so...way cool! Why would a motorized beer cooler be his livelihood? Is he selling rides on it like a pony? Or maybe the contents? I can see that Houston IS warm what with the bare arms, shorts and tans! Great shot of you!

Speaking about naked, isn't there a Southern joke about it? Something along the lines of:

Ya know...there's naked like you Yankees say it, NAY-Kid. Then there's how WE Suthuhnuhs say it, "NEHK-kid"

Now, Naked means, "Without any clothes."

But Nekkid means, "Without any clothes but you're going to have some fun!"

Anyways, if you can't dance naked in the privacy of your own room (or home if you live alone) where can you? I (channeling Valley Speak) So Toh-tuhlly agree with you. But it's more on the principle of the thing.

When I'm on the road, I'm generally on a treadmill by 5:30am but no dance music, just the local news. I can't see having much coordination that early - running is auto-pilot for me. So Denise is the secret to your fabulous shape, huh? Denise and beer...Denise and beer...who wudda thunk it.

Coach polishes his guns by the back window? Huh. Most guys do this either in their basement or garage near their shell reloader or while watching sports on TV.

Hmm. Is Coach single? Does he have sculpted shoulders, dark curly hair and (be still my heart) a library card? hahahaha! Not that Coach has anything to fear from yours truly being all of four-foot-ten-and-three-quarter inches and maybe 100 pounds fully dressed. Well..no shoes. My running shoes weigh about a pound.

jes' wondrin aloud said...

discuss his homophobia or lack thereof...what the heck does that mean???

Ricardo said...

That is a great picture and I would love to ride a beer cooler for a day. Think of what a great conversation piece it would be. The naked dancing sounds interesting and it may help the guy polishing his guns be a bdiehardit more sedated.

Roger said...

Put me down for the beer cooler! and jesus please dance naked any where you want! ;D

Maureen said...

Is the beer cooler full? You know what they say about drinking and driving...

Seems it's just an accident waiting to happen.

Christine said...

Gee, EVERYONE is blogging about riding motorized stuff, this week.

By the way, last week I was in a bar bathroom and came THIS CLOSE to taking a picture, for you.

disa said...

i have driven through daniel boone national forest and saw a man standing naked in the middle of his canoe in the lake. aside from that, no really good naked stories. i wish i had a good naked story....definitely use "naked" in more titles and blogs, its more eye catching!!

Pearl Maple said...

fAlways too many funny things going on in your blog, a fun time every time.

Jill said...

DJ (&Ms.Q) - I have a lot of interesting neighbors. I'm pretty sure most of them polish their gun collections while looking out their windows so that the entire apartment complex can feel free from crazy stalkers...oh no wait...maybe I live in an apartment full of crazy stalkers...

Tina - You should definitely consider putting it on your to do list sometime! :-) :-) :-)

John C - Ok I more or less walked right into that one! Yeah. I'm always dancing but usually the one *behind* the camera, so....

Ms.Q - Martin doesn't make the beer coolers. He has one of those male jobs that men describe over and over & no matter how many questions I ask I can't quite understand. Then I feel stupid for not understanding but have realized that it's not that I can't understand it's that the job is so boring that I can't focus through to the finish of the explanation...that said, he's in sales of the coolers somehow and the NOT boring parts of his job involve bringing the cooler to events. :-)

I wasn't aware of the nekked/nakey/naked nuances!

Yeah, Denise and beer and rollerblading and yoga and dancing all the time even while I'm sitting still. :-)

I've probably invaded Coach's privacy enough for one day, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say that it would be ok with him if I mentioned that he is ALL KINDS of adorable, but otherwise probably not your type. :-)

Jes' - The link goes to another blog entry wherein I asked Coach if he was going to freak out about the fact that I asked gay friends to go out with us.

Ricardo - Motorized beer coolers are sooooooooooooooooooooooo fun!!!! Dancing naked in the privacy of your own home is not all that bad either.

Roger - Ok, will do! :-) I think I can confine myself to my own room away from the window...

Maureen - Ummm...I don't remember if it was full that particular night. But I think it's ok to drive drunk when top speed is only 13 miles an hour!

Christine - Off to look at your blog for motorized whatever! And :-) :-) :-) on the picture!!!!!!!!!

Disa - I've never tried naked standing in a canoe...I did used to have half a canoe (I used it for my reading center the first year I taught first grade).

Pearl Maple - Thanks!!!! :-)

Ingrid said...

They make motorized beer coolers?! Amazing. And they say Franklin had all the good inventions.

Jill said...

Ingrid - No kidding, right?!?!??!

Rising Rainbow said...

Geez, I thought everyone was blogging about dancing naked! Guess that shows what I know. lol

CoatMan said...

Excuse me if this seems like a slightly obvious question, but what exactly is a motorised ride-on beer cooler for?

Noelia said...

motorized cooler...? LOL!
That picture is priceless!

Jill said...

Rising Rainbow - Everyone's NOT blogging about dancing naked?!?!? :-)

Coatman - Seriously? They're really great for parades, festivals, sports stuff & they're just fun!

Thanks Noelia!

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